Just My Thoughts, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Spiritual Family, YOUTH MINISTRY

I CHALLENGE YOU!

I watched the end of the Corona Trial and noticed that our senators are OLD. The senate president is apparently over 70 years old. I wondered why they were still there. Maybe they just love what they do. But then I also wondered if they were teaching somebody younger to do what they do, to eventually take their place. Could it be that they’re still there because there’s no one capable to replace them or continue their work? If so, why not?

A couple of friends of mine are resigning from their jobs. I hear the same concerns. Who is going to do the work they’re going to leave behind? To achieve a good transition, another capable person (or one with potential at the very least) should be “attached” to them, so that the new person learns to do his/her new job efficiently, and the whole team or company doesn’t have to suffer (much).

I think basic discipleship principles are in order. The older politicians should be humble enough to take newbies, even those who are potentially AND actually better than them, under their wing and mentor them, teach them the ropes. Humble and secure enough, unafraid that their mentees will be greater than them one day. I know I know, the corrupt ones can do the same, but I believe they will ruin themselves eventually — sowing and reaping. But that’s even more reason for the good ones to step up. Share their passion, their vision for the country. Train the younger ones, show them past mistakes so they can avoid them. Listen to idealistic, new ideas, and learn from them. Similar practices might help companies as well.

This is exactly what discipleship is for me. We impart, teach, minister not so we can just do that per se, but to train them to be like us…no, better than us. We teach, they learn, they grow. We teach, we learn, we grow too! But we’re not going to be in our positions forever. We’re in Alabang now, but God could take us elsewhere. What happens to the work we started, to the people we minister to? Who will take over? While we are still here, we must already think about that. That’s why we push multiple anchoring (connecting with multiple leaders that they can go to for counsel, accountability, or just to hang with and learn from) and we encourage them to lead others as well. They teach, others learn, others grow. They teach, they learn, they grow too — hopefully ten times better than their predecessors.

So I challenge you! It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, an employee, a boss, a student, a teacher, a student government official, a politician, a parent, a pastor, an assistant, a victory group leader, or the country’s president.  WHO’S NEXT AFTER YOU? Who do you plan to pass the baton to? Who are you training to do what you’re doing and to continue the legacy that you have started? Are you multiplying yourself? Are you letting your “apprentices” fly, allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them, but continually supporting and mentoring them? Are you showing the way, preparing the way, and then getting out of the way?

Just My Thoughts, Parenting

CONTACT!

EYE CONTACT

When Danae was born, I was mesmerized. I could not take my eyes off her and she loved looking into my eyes as well. We would hold our gaze for minutes at a time, especially while she was breastfeeding. It was like communicating to each other how deeply we loved each other, silently. No words could fully express how we both felt anyway.

Ever since, maybe also because of the mommy books I read then, I felt it important to have eye contact with my child, most especially when we would speak to her. It  is more sincere and it makes more impact when we tell her that we love her, that we’re proud of her, or when we give her instructions that she needs to obey.

We taught our kids early, and are continuing to teach them especially because Noelle refused in the beginning, to look into a person’s eyes when they apologize. A blurted out apology is unacceptable because it does not hold true. A proper apology teaches them to take responsibility for their actions. You hurt or disrespect someone, you look into their eyes to let them know how truly sorry you are. It’s hard but it’ll teach them to think twice before doing or saying something hurtful, and to teach them to humble themselves — something that is still difficult for me to this day. It’s another story though if the other person doesn’t want to look at them when they’re trying to say sorry. We just make sure that our girls do their part. They are being trained for something they will need to do, hopefully not often, when they’re grown up.

Eye contact shows my children that I am serious about something I’m trying to teach them, and it teaches them to pay attention. It shows them that I am listening to them and am interested when they’re communicating with me. It shows them also how sincere we are when we’re the ones apologizing to them. It fosters our deep connection with them when we express our love, joy, and gratefulness.

I’ve always disliked it when people do not make eye contact when spoken to. It feels like either they’re hiding something, or they’re lying, or they’re not listening, or they don’t care, or they’re prideful, or they’re insecure. I want my children to be sincere, trust worthy, humble, secure, and respectable human beings. I know teaching them eye contact will help.

PHYSICAL CONTACT

The other day, Danae told me that her classmate kissed her on the lips. Appalled, I asked her why she let him. She explained to me that it wasn’t her who kissed him, but he who kissed her.

Teaching opportunity once again! I told Danae that when her classmate/s kiss her, they are not respecting her. When they try it again, she should stop them. It will teach them to respect her, and they will eventually understand that they must not treat her that way. Overreacting, am I? I don’t think so. I say train them early so it won’t be so difficult for us parents and for our kids when they’re faced with such challenges during adolescence and adulthood.

This actually applies to all ladies. We have the power to say NO! If you want to be respected, set the boundaries. The men will take their cue from us. If we tolerate it, then they’re going to keep doing it. If we don’t, they will stop. This way, you weed out the boys from the men. This way, we know who earns our respect as well.