Just My Thoughts

What’s the goal?

Years ago, I was asked by some single ladies what they were supposed to do while they waited. Most singles hope to be married one day, let’s be real. I was the same. Since they were doing well in terms of their spiritual life, their careers and finances were in order, they served in church, their family life was healthy, what else should they do to prepare? What’s next? In other words, they were ready. Ready for the future. I don’t remember my exact answer but I guess I encouraged them to just be faithful in their season. To enjoy it. To learn and grow as they waited.

But maybe, just maybe, we had the wrong perception then. Including me. Maybe we were looking at marriage as a goal. Sure, we always said that every season is a gift. We said that being single is a blessing too. But, I think we also subconsciously believed that being married is better. And subconsciously sent the wrong message that marriage is the goal.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being married. I love hearing love stories. I love seeing couples getting married. There is rejoicing when God brings two people together for His glory and His purpose. BUT EXACTLY. It’s for God’s glory. It’s for God’s purpose. Being single is also for God’s glory, His purpose. The same goes for being a child, being a sibling, being a student. It’s not for our happiness or our enjoyment, though that is a huge bonus coming from a generous and loving God.

Marriage is the means. Christ is the goal. Singleness is the means. Christ is still the goal. Every season in our life is the means. CHRIST IS FOREVER THE GOAL. An intimate relationship with Christ, us growing in Christlikeness, us honoring Christ in everything we do, and us bringing people to Christ.

 

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowingChrist Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7-11

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

 

Funny Fridays, Parenting

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!

When the girls were still little, I dreaded the inevitable sex talk. Because we have girls, the responsibility to teach them is mine. My friends and mentors told me how important it is to educate our own kids about sex by age 9, so that they don’t get misinformed or get wrongly exposed to certain details about sex or how the world perceives it. They recommended a book but I never really got to buying, much less reading it.

For some reason, sex is an attractive word. I say this because each time my girls would see or hear it, they’d ask me what it means. I would always reply that sex means gender, like when we fill up forms, it asks us if we are male or female. Thank God they accepted that answer for a few years haha.

And thank God for His wisdom, guiding us about handling this topic with our daughters when it was time. There were two crucial things I believe, that we did. First was we (or I haha, sometimes it’s awkward for daddy) made sure that it’s an open subject. When they ask, we don’t shoo them or forbid them from asking about it. We treat it as a casual conversation. That way, they won’t be afraid to ask. They may feel awkward at times, but if they know that we, their parents, are not awkward about it, they will feel more free to talk to us. Also, it wasn’t a one time-big time conversation, where we sat them down and formally gave them a lesson. It began with a simple question, which gave us the opportunity to lay down the right foundation regarding sex. The conversation has not ended. But, we are also mindful of their ages, their maturity, and their privacy (what to talk about, when, and around whom).

Second, we made sure that they knew the truth about sex — that it was created by God, and it was created for the husband and wife to enjoy. We believe that beginning with that, our kids have a healthy and godly perspective of sex.

So because sex is a free topic of conversation within our family, I’ve been asked the funniest questions.

Daughter: Mom, what is a condom?

Me: Where’d you hear about that?

Daughter explains. Something about seeing it on Musical.ly and it being blown up like balloons.

Me: (after warning her about being careful of what she watches online) It’s a thing that keeps the sperm from uniting with the egg.

Daughter: (after asking where it’s placed, etc etc) Wait, why would they want to keep the sperm from the egg?

Me: So the mommy won’t get pregnant.

Daughter: Eeeeeew, so you mean people do it just for fun????

Me: Hahaha, yes! God created it for husband and wife to enjoy, remember?

 

Daughter: I know what sex is.

Me: Okay, what is it?

Daughter explains what she learned from her science class.

Me: Yes, that’s right.

Daughter: But how does the sperm meet the egg?

Me: I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Daughter: I know mom.

Me: Okay tell me.

Daughter: The private part of the boy and the private part of the girl.

Me: Okay…..

Daughter: But mom, which private part? Here (pointing to her chest) or here (pointing to her crotch)?

 

Hahahah, I love conversations with our girls! It keeps me on my toes, and keeps me seeking God’s wisdom. I pray for courage, wisdom and discernment when the time comes for you to begin and to continue that conversation with your kids, in Jesus’ name.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
Motherhood, My Kids, Parenting

Ten Times Better Already

We named Danae after Daniel of the Bible. He’s one of our favorite people, along with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They had great faith and courage, and were ten times better than their counterparts. But before I continue, this blog is in NO WAY AIMED TO MAKE YOU COMPARE YOUR KIDS or other kids to ours. We are not claiming that our kids are ten times better than their friends or other kids. We are, however, claiming that they ARE ten times better….than their parents!

For one thing, Danae is so much more mature than I or King ever were when we were her age (5 and a half). Noelle’s vocabulary is more extensive than mine or King’s when we were her age (2 years & 5 months). They are both articulate, smart and very confident.

I know I performed in school quite often (a pre-school play, field demonstrations and the like), but I was never comfortable in front of many people. I wasn’t comfortable with even a few. In grade school, they would get me to join declamation contests, and maybe because I was pushed, I’d agree. But I never won anything because I really am not much of a performer. Sure, I can speak. But that’s it. Now that I’m older, I am way more confident than I was, but Danae was BORN confident and fearless. Unafraid of almost anything. Adventurous too! I thought at first that Noelle was timid, but she’s pretty fearless too. I saw that when she almost jumped from the boat to join King in the water (Coron) and when she danced with us on stage in front of hundreds of people (Victory Alabang Leaders’ Night). I guess it just took a while for her confidence and fearlessness to come out.

I’m amazed at how expressive Danae is. I thank God that she trusts me and can freely share things with me, without any fears of being judged or being reprimanded (though there are times that I do reprimand of course). I guess that attributes to her confidence and fearlessness too. It doesn’t take much to draw things out of her and she can articulate her feelings well. That’s God’s grace right there. I’m so grateful that she and Noelle need not be caged because of insecurities and fear of rejection, like I was when I was young.

I’m amazed at how my girls take on food. Well, Noelle eats almost anything so it’s no surprise that she eats almost any vegetable. But I was surprised at how receptive she was to the idea when I introduced malunggay capsules in their diet. She doesn’t care if her food turns green. She’s the one who reminds me and is excited to put the green powder on her food! Eeew right? haha. Danae is a bit like me, somewhat picky when it comes to food, though she eats most vegetables and is eating those that I only started eating a few years ago. I still don’t eat onions to this day and Danae, if she sees them, doesn’t eat them either. She does eat them unknowingly when I feed her (hehe). I wasn’t planning to give her malunggay capsules since she drinks milk (Noelle doesn’t but needs calcium), but she was also interested. I knew putting it on her food wouldn’t work but I was surprised that she wanted to try swallowing the capsule. I thought she’d have a hard time, it being her first time. She didn’t! No struggle at all. While 33 year old me, still struggles with tablets sometimes!

I’m tempted to say that I know these things are so shallow, but they’re really not. They mean a great deal to me. I am grateful that as early as now, their communication skills and eating habits are already good. As early as now, they are already confident and fearless. As early as now, they are getting to know and learning to love the Lord. My girls are a handful and are very strong-willed. I see so much of me in them, which makes me fearful of who they will become. But seeing that as early as now, they are already ten times better than me, gives me the hope that they need not make as many mistakes as I did and that THEY WILL DISCOVER THEIR GOD-GIVEN PURPOSE & DESTINY EARLY, and FLING THEIR LIVES TO IT.