Marriage, THE PRODUCTIVE WIFE

Marriage Tip from Designated Survivor

I’ve recently watched the entire first season of Designated Survivor and it’s awesome! I keep hoping for Tom Kirkman to go Jack Bauer mode haha. I monopolized netflix, told Gianna that it’s mommy’s turn to watch. She obliged. She calls it my show and calls it “Mr. President” haha.

Anyway, there is this one episode where Tom Kirkman goes overseas to attend the NATO summit. But because a story comes out in the US regarding the government’s cover up of who really bombed the Capitol, the other world leaders decide to remove his time from the summit agenda. Nearly everybody questions his capability to be the US president, and just when things are looking up for his leadership, the truth that they are still getting to the bottom of, leaks. The pressure and the stress. The not knowing who to trust. His integrity and his love for his country. The politics. The weight on his shoulders as the new president of the United States, after the entire government is erased. Overwhelming.

Tom gets a call from his wife while he is still in Canada. She asks him how he is, and asks how she can help. Tom’s answer:

“Don’t lose faith in me.”

Wow. So simple yet so powerful. When your husband is at his lowest and you have no capacity to help, this is the greatest help you can give. DO NOT LOSE FAITH IN HIM. Believe in him. Believe in his abilities and in his heart. Stand by him through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Win or lose, you are a team. It’s not always going to be bad, and you have to be able to weather the storms together. Remind him that even through failure, you are proud of him for getting up and wanting to be a better man. Commend him for the great things he does and encourage him to keep giving his best.

COMMITMENT. LOYALTY. UNITY. Big words. But we have a bigger God who supplies us the strength, the wisdom, the grace, the joy, the love we need. ❤

 

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Ephesians 5:22 MSG

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:1-4

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:13-14

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16

 

My Kids, Parenting

On Stage Again

One of my daughters has been interested in acting ever since she was little, but we didn’t have the chance or time to commit to any workshops. When Homeschool@Alabang opened in June last year, offering a Musical Theater class that fit into our girls’ regular school schedule, we enrolled both girls since my other daughter expressed interest as well. My friend May of FullyHousewifed encouraged me that the class is good, especially with Ms. Anamarie Quirino teaching it.

It was extra work and extra expense for us, but we went for it. There were times that they both didn’t want to attend the class because they were tired, times they had to skip it because of sickness or exams, times they wanted to quit. But we are all so glad that we PUSHED ourselves to finish what we started, to honor our COMMITMENT. I would have also easily agreed to them giving it up, but King reminded us that he had already paid for the entire year’s fees. What a waste of time, energy, resources, and OPPORTUNITY it would have been if we just quit, when we’d already invested 6 months of our lives and their show was only a few months away.


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The play was entitled Happily Forever After (A Musical Play About the Kingdom of God), held at Maybank Performing Arts Theater in the BGC Arts Center.

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The result was wonderful! Danae’s call time was 10am because she was part of the Shadow Play team. They had a part in Homeschool@Valle Verde’s show at 1:30pm. King brought her since King had work in the area, and my friends (moms of the other girls) took charge of her while I couldn’t be there with her. Noelle’s call time was at 3pm, along with everyone else. King came back for us at home and we all went in time for Noelle’s call time. With all the time and work they put in that day, I did not hear a single complaint!!! They both enjoyed themselves so much. They loved it! I think being in a real theater with real dressing rooms added to the excitement. When they heard “company call!” they bolted out of the dressing room while I was in the middle of braiding Noelle’s hair! They were so busy and excited about their rehearsals, makeup, costumes, and about delivering an EXCELLENT performance. Not to mention the FRIENDSHIPS they built with new people, and the MEMORIES they created with their oldest friends. This was one for the books!

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inside the dressing room, after the show 🙂

 

We are so proud of all the kids! They were all adorable. Kids with talent, who gave their BEST, whether their part was big or small. Kids who WORKED TOGETHER and displayed so much COURAGE! We’re grateful our girls got to be a part of it. The best bit — they got to SHARE THE GOSPEL through their play!

Our girls truly surprised and impressed me. I could never do what they did with much comfort, except maybe the dancing part. They didn’t have speaking lines, but their facial expressions, their acting chops, and their confidence??? They may look like me, but they’ve got their dad’s performing genes. For sure. And Gianna? She mentioned a couple of times that she wanted to go down and dance as well. Her words seeing Noelle right after the play — “Noelle, I like your make up!” She’s two, and I don’t think she has a problem being on stage either. 🙂

 

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the opening scene — our trumpeteers Danae, Ana and Cassie!
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Danae in red and white (rightmost, upstage), and Noelle in purple (rightmost part of the image)

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The shadow play – Danae handled the head of the dragon. This was a beautiful depiction of Jesus’ death and His victory over death.
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The girls of the shadow play crew 🙂 Thanks for the photo, tita Trickee 🙂
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Danae and Noelle in sync! at least in this shot 🙂 Thanks tita Michelle 🙂
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With their talented director, Anamarie Quirino 🙂
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Wowo, Wowas and ate Ella came to support! Wish Wowo Vic were alive to see this. Thank you, family! 🙂

 

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10a

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. Proverbs 16:3

 
Family, My Kids, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Danae Can’t Dance?

Danae and I had been practicing the past week with our church’s Vacation Bible Camp dance team. We volunteered to join the team that would lead the praise dance on stage and with the kids in the classroom. On Tuesday night, Danae pulled a muscle as she ran abruptly to chase Noelle while we were at the mall. She was limping the rest of the night. When we got home….

Me: How’s your leg?
Danae: Still owie (painful).
Me: Does that mean you can’t dance in VBC on Thursday?
Danae: (thought for a brief second) Lord, please heal my ouchie. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Me: Amen.
Danae: I’ll still dance.
Me: Okay.

I love my daughter’s response! Instead of getting worried and instead of conceding to the pain she was feeling, she PRAYED! She didn’t let a little pain get in the way of her COMMITMENT. Even today, the 3rd and final day of VBC, as she woke up with a sore, tired body, she still danced with us. I am so proud of her! My prayer was for her to learn commitment and SERVANTHOOD through this experience. And I believe she did.

I thank God for the opportunity to impart to her the JOY of serving God and His people, and to actually serve WITH her. I think we even inspired Noelle and two of their girlfriends to volunteer with us next year too! 🙂

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Family, Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Submission

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

In both retreats, Ptr Ferdie Cabiling and his wife Judy shared about the roles of husband and wife. Submission is a tough pill to swallow for most women, and there are times it’s hard for me too. I know I am not inferior, but equal in worth. I have a different role, but I am equally loved by God. I know I am not supposed to blindly obey my husband, that he is not Jesus therefore I should not obey him like I obey Jesus. What’s tough is having my own opinions, ideas, strengths, and yet still have a SUBMISSIVE SPIRIT. Saying my piece, having a calm discussion, without being argumentative and prideful, without shoving it down his throat.

To submit is to voluntarily give allegiance to my husband, willingly respond and tend to his needs, be supportive of him, and to voluntarily give up my will so that I can serve and care for him. It is an act of faith because I am relinquishing control, trusting that God knows what is best for me. It is looking beyond my husband & his imperfection, and looking at God’s authority, wisdom, power, goodness….His perfection. It is an act of obedience TO GOD, not to my husband, because I am yielding to His will. It is an act of love and commitment towards God, towards King, and consequently towards our children.

I thank God because it may be hard at times, but King is such a good man that many times, it’s not hard at all. In fact, it reassures me that my husband is Kephale (Greek) which means FIRST INTO BATTLE. He is not Arche, which means beginning, first, prince, ruler. He is my leader, but my fellow soldier. He goes ahead of me, but we are in this together. Honestly, I do not want to be first into battle! I don’t want to be the one to scope the situation out and to decide whether to advance or retreat. I don’t want the burden that he carries on his shoulders. He is not the head of the chain of command, but the head of the chain of responsibility, the driving force of which is LOVE. He takes responsibility for me and our children.

King is not perfect but he is the best husband for me! He never lords over me. He takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration when making important decisions. He prioritizes me and our family. He is faithful to me. He is trustworthy. He loves God and relies on Him for the ability to love and stay committed to me and our children. And he expresses that love through words, gifts, affection, service and time.

I thank God for blessing me with a head, a leader, a husband like King. Submitting is not easy, but I willingly submit to him.

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! Looking forward to 8 more years of learning and loving. I love you! 🙂

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

This is post #1 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #2! 🙂

Just My Thoughts, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Spiritual Family, YOUTH MINISTRY

PROMISES

Promises. We all make them. Hopefully we all try our best to keep them. But did you know that I LOVE YOU is a promise? I speak to youth and singles out there. Did you know that when you say “I love you” to someone, you are promising to love that person forever? Think about it. Going into a relationship, nobody ever says “I love you for now,” “I love you for the next 3 months, but I can’t be sure after that,” or “I love you for as long as I feel this way.”

I guess that’s why there are those afraid to utter these 3 words. It’s a “game-changer” in a casual relationship. Although I do not believe in casual relationships, wherein people just dive into them for the fun of it without really thinking about consequences, I get why they’re not so generous in professing their “love.” It’s because if they do so, it will mean COMMITMENT.

For me though, if you can’t commit to a person for whatever reason (age, distance, family background, season in life, absence of love), you have no business getting into a relationship with him or her.

But what about in the case of those who get swept up by their own emotions and easily confess their love to another?

Boys, when you tell a girl you love her, you are actually making a commitment to love her forever. That’s the very reason King and I, during our courtship, were advised to refrain from saying this to each other, as we were still seeking God regarding the future of our relationship. I advise you the same thing. If you can’t back up your statement with a marriage proposal, then DON’T EVEN SAY IT. If it’s just a case of TIMING, then don’t say it YET.

Why? Simple. You tell a girl you love her, you make a promise, she holds on to the promise. YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE, YOU BREAK HER HEART.

Girls, I know it’s so special when you hear a boy tell you he loves you, but be discerning. Is it the right time for this? If he’s saying all these things to you so freely without backing it up with anything, you should wonder if he’s mature enough to even get into a relationship, let alone lead you. Are you able to guard your heart when you allow him to be so free with his words and actions? And even if you return the affection, unless it’s a marriage proposal, DON’T SAY IT either!

Why? Simple. You tell a guy you love him, you make a promise, he holds on to your promise. YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE, YOU BREAK HIS HEART.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Contrary to what Peter Parker said, though it was a cool line that elicited excitement from Gwen Stacy and the rest of us, in this case I LOVE YOUS are the worst promises IF you can’t keep them. Because even with the best intentions and even if you have all the right reasons to break the promise, the result is still the same. You defraud and hurt another. DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP.

Go back to BASICS. Guard your brothers’ and sisters’ hearts by guarding yours. Like I said before, it’s a matter of life and death.

Marriage

Good answer, babe!

We’ve heard a lot of sad stories regarding infidelity in married couples. Trust is a huge deal to me and I can’t help but be somewhat affected by such stories, especially when they happen to people I know. When King and I talk about it, here’s how the conversation goes.

ME: Babe ha, please don’t ever ever do that to me. If there’s anything you need to confess, you need to tell me now.

KING: Babe, I will never do that to you.

ME: How sure are you?

KING: Because I love God.

ME: Good answer!

I know that King’s love for God or his relationship with Him is no guarantee that he will not fall, because he is merely human. But it’s certainly more reassuring than hearing him tell me that he loves me. I know he loves me and is committed to me, but I believe that his love for and commitment to God is deeper. I don’t need him to fear my wrath because God’s wrath far outweighs mine. Not discounting the need for me to be vigilant and to do my part as a good wife, him having the fear of the Lord should be enough to keep him away from trouble. 🙂

Marriage

MARRIAGE BOOSTERS!

We recently attended Marriage Boosters with Ptr Chico and Maryanne Pena. We were the last batch of couples for this year. I’m sharing parts of my letter to King, which we were all assigned to do for our spouses, along with the very important lessons I learned and relearned from our tender-hearted, humble, wise, exemplary teachers.

My dearest King,

doing this marriage boosters with you has been really fun and quite revealing. i’ve enjoyed laughing, whether secretly or not, with you. thank you because you are a man with a big sense of humor….. i appreciate that you’re not as serious or as high-strung as i can be at times. i’ve also realized that there’s so much we still need to know about each other and that even the littlest details are important. i want to know you more….

> You can never be too young to learn to work on your marriage. King and I have only been married for 5 years. Somebody asked me if we needed to attend such a thing, maybe thinking that King is a pastor or that we seem happy or that we should still be in the “honeymoon” stage. Of course we do! There is much to learn and it’s better to learn them early on. Francis and Belle were there too, and they’ve only been married for 2 months!

> Have fun! Do things, learn new things together! Laugh together! Date regularly! I tell you, it was so refreshing to spend time with King without the kids for a couple of hours every week. We were there to listen to Chico and Maryanne, but there were many exercises that made us talk the way only married couples can or should talk. We laughed a lot about ourselves too. We really enjoyed it.

> There’s so much more to discover about your husband. Want to know more and be interested in him, in what he does, in what he likes. Let him know you more too. You’ve got a lifetime to do this. Marriage was not intended to be boring. Discovering each other is exciting!

i am grateful to God for giving me a man like you. you are imperfect, but you are 100% more the man than any other man could ever be for me. i truly believe that you are my half….better half? maybe hehe. but together, we are ONE. it doesn’t matter that we are different and we have different wavelengths at times. what matters is God brought us together because it was His plan and His purpose.

> Unity. I thank God that He gave me a man who shares the same faith and the same values I do, who shares the same vision for our family. We may think differently and approach things differently, but we are united in wanting to honor God in our marriage and in everything else.

> King and I don’t wear our wedding rings because they don’t fit anymore haha and we’re both allergic, but engraved on our rings are 3 names — King Jesus Phoebe. Our desire is to keep Jesus in the center of our marriage. We are not merely committed to each other as husband and wife, but committed to our God who authored our marriage. And that’s why we value, work on and fully invest in it.

i admire you for your humility. your heart to serve is just so amazing. i promise to always support you and pray for you. it doesn’t matter if other people don’t see. I see. God sees……I believe in you, babe. I believe in your anointing and your calling. but more importantly, I believe in the One who called you and is anointing you.

> Be your husband’s #1 fan! Be supportive, encourage him daily. Tell him constantly that you believe in him. Most men, my husband included, need verbal affirmation. We don’t want them to get their “boosts” from other women, do we?  Trust me, your husband’s eyes will twinkle when you tell him how much you believe in him and how proud you are of him. I think this was the part that made King cry when I read my letter to him. Hehehe.

> Stand by your husband. It is important that he knows where your loyalty lies, especially when situations are rough for him. It will strengthen your bond of unity all the more.

you are a dreamer, babe! you’ve got great big dreams. sometimes i am bogged down by unbelief, but you…. you dream big because your faith is big. thank you for being an example to me. and thank you for leading our family with such faith. thank you for dreaming big for me and our kids, for wanting to give the world to us.  i will dream and pray with you….and i will always be here for you, supporting you and standing with you as God prepares us for our dreams and as God prepares our dreams for us.

> Share your heart’s desires with each other! Dream together. Listen and pay attention to what’s in your husband’s heart. Don’t only pray for each other, but pray together. This will knit your hearts as one and strengthen your relationship — your friendship and your marriage. The best gift you can give to your children is a strong marriage.

> High appreciation is key! Be grateful for your one and only husband. I know sometimes when we’re mad or frustrated, it’s hard to be grateful. But if we could just train ourselves to make our emotions follow by taking our thoughts captive and obedient to Christ, it would make a huge difference. There are really times that I’m already frustrated but I would think of King’s good points haha. There is much to be appreciated about my husband after all, stuff that truly matter — his faith, his heart, his humility, his love for God, his love for his family.

> Pray for your husband, that his relationship with God is strong and healthy, but do not neglect your own. Our husbands are our leaders, but there will be times that they will be down. We must always be ready to encourage, to uplift, to speak life, to balance, to give wisdom, to pray. You can only give what you yourself have.

i love you, babe.

> Always tell your husband you love him. Always. 🙂