Family, Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years!

King and I celebrated our 8th anniversary with the kids at Marciano’s in South Mall tonight! We ordered Fight Night, composed of a salad, 2 appetizers, lasagna, and a-14 inch pizza. Simple celebration, yummy food, grateful for eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LOVING and LEARNING. 🙂

Happy anniversary, Babe! Thanks for dinner! I love you! 🙂

This is post #8 for 8 wonderful years! Check out post #7 here!

Hudson Prawns
Eight years!
Marciano’s Signature Salad
14-inch Bandel’s Margherita Pizza
Joey Tribbiani’s Meat Lasagna
Donnie Dresco Calamares
Still tired from our trip, but grateful for our family!
Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – The Don’t Song

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

After Ptr Steve Murrell and his wife Deborah shared about COMMUNICATION, they showed us a music video by Igniter Media to help our husbands communicate better. It’s called THE DON’T SONG, sung by Johnny and Chachi. It has haunted my mind ever since. I took the liberty of taking down the lyrics.

You hear the baby screamin’
But you act like you’re asleep.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

Laughin’ is a no-no
When she says “How do I look?”
Don’t do it. That’s ridiculous.

If she says she spells love T-I-M-E
Don’t grammatically correct her.

If she says you both should give it a hundred percent
Don’t tell her that’s impossible…mathematically.

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Don’t. Don’t do it.
Stop. Must stop it.
Cut it out.

Never leave an argument
By yelling out “Well fine!”
Don’t do it.
Unless she was asking how your day was
And you said, it was more like “Well fine.”
Then that’s okay!

When she makes dinner
She needs to do the dishes.
He’s kidding….I was.
That’s your job.

Never tell her jokes like
“What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?
You tell her to get back to work.”

No, that’s not funny.
Maybe a little.
Don’t even think of laughing.

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.
Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-don’t. Don’t do it.
Stop. Must stop it.
Cut it out.

Always ask about her day.
Help her fold the laundray.
And don’t forget to spray….Lysol in the bathroom.
If you do these, you will see
You’ll make her so happy.
And your marriage will be sturdy…like an oak.

But there are so many things…..

Click here for the awesome music video! Click here for more of Johnny and Chachi!

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for this song’s effect on your brain. Like I said, it has haunted me ever since I heard and saw it. Now even my kids sing it too. 🙂

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! Thanks for putting up with me and this song hahaha. I love you! 🙂

This is post #7 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #6 and here for post #8! 🙂

Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Communication

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

Pastor Steve Murrell and his wife Deborah gave the last session at our marriage retreat in Bellevue. They talked about COMMUNICATION.

They began by showing us a picture of their family because they wanted to remind us that our marriage impacts way beyond the two of us. They gave us many scriptures, all from Proverbs, and helpful practical tips on how to communicate with each other.

Two things jump at me as I look at my notes — exaggeration and nitpicking! When my children exaggerate, using words like ALWAYS, EVERY TIME or NEVER, it really annoys me and sometimes hurts my feelings. At the retreat, I got reminded that I actually do that to King too. It is a barrier to good communication. It actually STOPS communication. Must stop it (the exaggeration), cut it out.

Another barrier to communication is nitpicking. Women tend to stick to accuracy. That is so me! Little details are important to me, and not so much to King (and most men, I hear). I have a thing for stories lining up and being truthful, maybe because my number 1 strength (Strength Finders) is Belief haha. BUT, I must be reminded about picking my battles and my timing.

I am happy to say I think I’m learning to do that! Two weeks ago, King and I spoke at Victory Muntinlupa’s Youth (ONLINE) leadership convergence. While King was sharing about this restaurant and the issues they were dealing with, he got one detail wrong. Because it was a small gathering of about 65 and I was just a few feet away, I sooooo wanted to raise my hand and correct him. Hahaha. Thank God wisdom prevailed! I kept thinking, what would be worse — that I correct him in front of all the young people or that he make one tiny mistake? I held my urge to correct and forgot about it. I told him a day or two later. Breakthrough!

Happy 8th anniversary Babe! We’re steadily improving in this communicating thing. From glory to glory! I love you! 🙂

This is post #6 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post#5 and here for post #7! 🙂

Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Faith and Finance

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

Bishop Jurray Mora and his wife Dea shared about faith and finances during one of the sessions in our marriage retreat in Bellevue. I love how they each had a side in every story they shared. It showed just how different a husband and a wife deals with certain issues. Their testimony was just so real and so encouraging.

In our marriage, King is the one with more faith in terms of finances while I am the more practical one. There are times when fear hits me, but I was reminded during the session that when faith is replaced by fear, I am not able to see that I am God’s child. I need to remind myself that I am more than a steward, because I am an heir, a son, and I have access to all of God’s riches. Thank God His provision is not dependent on my performance, but on His goodness. And I have tasted and seen that the Lord IS good!

Thank you, Babe, for always being in faith! I am always proven wrong when I doubt. We have made mistakes, but God is always faithful. Thank you for your example of humility, patience and faith. I want to be like you when I grow up hehehe. Happy 8th anniversary! I love you! 🙂

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:15-17

This is post #5 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #4 and here for post #6! 🙂

Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Priorities

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

During our marriage retreat in Bellevue, the first session was given by Ptr Paolo Punzalan and his wife Jenn. They talked to us about PRIORITIES.

I so agree that decision-making becomes simpler when we have our priorities straight. There have been a few times that King had to miss a basketball game or a high school reunion or a party to be with me or with me and the kids. I have missed many events, nights out, weddings, parties, vacations with friends to stay home for my family. There have been a few times I was late for a meeting because I had to discipline my child first. Indeed we need to say NO to the right things.

We need to say NO when it competes with family time. My husband, being a pastor, does a lot of ministry weekly. Especially now that he is in charge of pastoral services, there are seasons when he has a dedication and funeral service outside the office every single day. He needs to guard his Mondays, his only day off, so he can spend that time with us. It’s a blessing that I am a stay-at-home mom, that I can be flexible with my time to accommodate King’s and the girls’ schedules.

Our ideal top 5 priority lists are practically the same. They contain the same “items” — God, spouse, children, self, work/ministry — but of course they get mixed up sometimes, along with other priorities like family and friends, depending on situation, day, or activity. I thank God though that King and I are generally on the same page, and we hold the same values.

Thank you, babe, because I can see that I am a priority in your life. I am able to trust your leadership because you take care of me, our marriage, our children. Our children will also one day see (when they’re past their whining and complaining haha), how much you prioritize them too.

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! I love you! 🙂

This is post #4 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post # 3 and here for post # 5! 🙂

Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Love

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

Pastor Bernhard Wewege of South Africa taught about LOVE on the last session of our Couples’ Getaway in Tagaytay. I love the specific things he taught us to do, to love our spouse. To LOVE is to SERVE. In order to serve our spouse, we must think LESS of SELF. When we do not take time to understand, we will be like an annoyingly loud gong that our spouse will want to run away from. Our spiritual life has much to do with our ability to do this. When we grow spiritually dry, we become more SELF-SERVING, more PRIDEFUL.

Love is patient. Make sure that your spiritual tank is overflowing with God’s Spirit. If not, the enemy can wreak havoc in your life using the “unfilled” part of your tank.
Love is kind. Show kindness to one another.
Love does not envy. Rejoice in each other’s successes.
Love does not boast. Boasting comes from pride. Pride will set you for a fall.
Love is not proud. God breaks the people who are proud. You must not be too proud to do anything.
Love does not dishonor others. Don’t gossip about your spouse. If you love him or her, protect.
Love is not self seeking. Don’t think about what you can get out of it. If you’re self-seeking, when you need help, nobody will be there for you.
Love is not easily angered. Take a deep breath then respond. Words impact. You can’t take it back. Never react; RESPOND. (ding ding ding! This is me, but not so much the words but the TONE….I think haha)
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Dont bring back the past. You can’t change it. Forgive and move on. The race is ahead of you, not behind you.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Sorry I did not catch what he actually said on this one, but I think it has to do with grieving and praying for each other when one has fallen, and encouraging and cheering for each other when you or either of you are doing well.

LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS.
Husbands, cherish your wife.

LOVE ALWAYS HOPES.
Your hope is your future, your dreams. There is always hope.

LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS.
All of the love areas must be covered for this trust to happen.

LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES.
If you embrace the principles of serving, it is easy to persevere.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Love is not a feeling, but a choice.

I thank God for my husband who is a servant at heart. Thank you, babe, for loving me, for being patient with me, for being kind to me, for honoring me, for protecting me, for trusting me, and for never giving up on me. I love you.

Happy 8th anniversary! 🙂

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1Corinthians 13:1-7

This is post #3 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #2 and here for post #4! 🙂

Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Intimacy

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

During the second session of our Couples’ Getaway in Taal Vista Hotel, Tagaytay, our very own Pastor Ariel Marquez and his wife Shirley shared about INTIMACY or “into me see.” It means to be FULLY KNOWN and LOVED at EVERY LEVEL.

What a beautiful thing between a husband and his wife. I thank God for giving me this gift, to be able to fully know and love King at every level and to be fully known and loved by King at every level. Indeed sex is not merely a physical act. It deals with body AND soul. It is not merely for procreation and pleasure, lest we be like dogs, but it is a spiritual act. It is a gift that God created and designed for the husband and the wife.

We really appreciate Ptr Ariel and Shirley for being candid, real, and brave. Talking about intimacy is quite hard, I imagine, but somebody’s got to do it. I would be happy to share my notes with those of you who are married, privately haha. Please let me know. 🙂

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! Here’s one I know you’ll have no trouble learning over and over again. Haha. I love you! 🙂

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. 1 Corinthians 7:3-6

This is post #2 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #1 and here for post #3! 🙂

Family, Marriage, THE BRAINY BUNCH

Eight Years of Learning – Submission

King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

In both retreats, Ptr Ferdie Cabiling and his wife Judy shared about the roles of husband and wife. Submission is a tough pill to swallow for most women, and there are times it’s hard for me too. I know I am not inferior, but equal in worth. I have a different role, but I am equally loved by God. I know I am not supposed to blindly obey my husband, that he is not Jesus therefore I should not obey him like I obey Jesus. What’s tough is having my own opinions, ideas, strengths, and yet still have a SUBMISSIVE SPIRIT. Saying my piece, having a calm discussion, without being argumentative and prideful, without shoving it down his throat.

To submit is to voluntarily give allegiance to my husband, willingly respond and tend to his needs, be supportive of him, and to voluntarily give up my will so that I can serve and care for him. It is an act of faith because I am relinquishing control, trusting that God knows what is best for me. It is looking beyond my husband & his imperfection, and looking at God’s authority, wisdom, power, goodness….His perfection. It is an act of obedience TO GOD, not to my husband, because I am yielding to His will. It is an act of love and commitment towards God, towards King, and consequently towards our children.

I thank God because it may be hard at times, but King is such a good man that many times, it’s not hard at all. In fact, it reassures me that my husband is Kephale (Greek) which means FIRST INTO BATTLE. He is not Arche, which means beginning, first, prince, ruler. He is my leader, but my fellow soldier. He goes ahead of me, but we are in this together. Honestly, I do not want to be first into battle! I don’t want to be the one to scope the situation out and to decide whether to advance or retreat. I don’t want the burden that he carries on his shoulders. He is not the head of the chain of command, but the head of the chain of responsibility, the driving force of which is LOVE. He takes responsibility for me and our children.

King is not perfect but he is the best husband for me! He never lords over me. He takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration when making important decisions. He prioritizes me and our family. He is faithful to me. He is trustworthy. He loves God and relies on Him for the ability to love and stay committed to me and our children. And he expresses that love through words, gifts, affection, service and time.

I thank God for blessing me with a head, a leader, a husband like King. Submitting is not easy, but I willingly submit to him.

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! Looking forward to 8 more years of learning and loving. I love you! 🙂

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

This is post #1 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #2! 🙂