Motherhood, My Kids, Parenting

I Don’t Want You to Die, Mommy….

I don’t know if it’s because she is the youngest or because it’s just really her personality, but Gianna is majorly clingy to me. She really loves me and even though we are constantly together, she still tells me that she misses me and wants me….. to do everything with her, even though there are other members of the family. 😂 She also has so much compassion for me. She’s happy when I’m happy, cries with me when I’m sad.

A few months ago I learned that, for some reason, she has this fear of me dying. She has told me quite a number of times already, most often out of the blue and when it’s quiet and we’re about to sleep. With a sad face, she would say “I don’t want you to die, Mommy.”

At first I thought it was ridiculous. Clinginess overload. But I couldn’t tell her that that would never happen. That would be cruel and dishonest. So instead, I told her that I won’t die yet. That I will die when I’m old, when she is already an adult, married with kids. But then she told me that she doesn’t want me to grow old so I won’t die haha. I just hugged her and assured her that I’m still here. She has told me enough times for me to take it seriously and not laugh it off.

A few days ago, she said it to me again, but my response was different. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner, since we always teach our girls to pray to thank God, to declare God’s promises, to ask for help, to ask for healing (even for the smallest owi), to ask for forgiveness, to help others too. But I told her to pray. Pray that God would take care of Mommy and Daddy, that we will be healthy and strong, and live a long life. I prayed first, and then she followed. And you know, since then, she has blurted out prayers or announcements that she will pray, when in bed, while she’s watching tv, and once while I was in the bathroom! She came in, told me she needed to pray for me, and prayed that God would take care of me. When I wasn’t feeling so well the other day, she prayed for me. I thanked her, and she proudly told me that it was what I taught her. I don’t hear her say she doesn’t want me to die anymore. I just hear her pray. When she is reminded of her fear, she now knows how to respond!

Wow. That is the power of prayer! My words were never enough to give her the assurance that she needed. There was always a follow-up to her worries. But prayer brought the peace of God into her heart, and continues to do so each time she fights her fears with it. Miraculous work that the Lord is doing in my little girl’s heart. Gianna does not know it yet, but she is already practicing Philippians 4:6-7. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ❤️

May we learn from the example of a young child, to trust the Lord and receive His peace, despite the enormity of our fears and the vastness of our uncertainties.

 

2 thoughts on “I Don’t Want You to Die, Mommy….”

  1. I can relate. Judah is the same and I understand because, me, being the youngest, also felt that I would one day be left alone and on my own. It’s good you handled it well. Our children need to know whom they should lean on.

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