When the girls were still little, I dreaded the inevitable sex talk. Because we have girls, the responsibility to teach them is mine. My friends and mentors told me how important it is to educate our own kids about sex by age 9, so that they don’t get misinformed or get wrongly exposed to certain details about sex or how the world perceives it. They recommended a book but I never really got to buying, much less reading it.

For some reason, sex is an attractive word. I say this because each time my girls would see or hear it, they’d ask me what it means. I would always reply that sex means gender, like when we fill up forms, it asks us if we are male or female. Thank God they accepted that answer for a few years haha.

And thank God for His wisdom, guiding us about handling this topic with our daughters when it was time. There were two crucial things I believe, that we did. First was we (or I haha, sometimes it’s awkward for daddy) made sure that it’s an open subject. When they ask, we don’t shoo them or forbid them from asking about it. We treat it as a casual conversation. That way, they won’t be afraid to ask. They may feel awkward at times, but if they know that we, their parents, are not awkward about it, they will feel more free to talk to us. Also, it wasn’t a one time-big time conversation, where we sat them down and formally gave them a lesson. It began with a simple question, which gave us the opportunity to lay down the right foundation regarding sex. The conversation has not ended. But, we are also mindful of their ages, their maturity, and their privacy (what to talk about, when, and around whom).

Second, we made sure that they knew the truth about sex — that it was created by God, and it was created for the husband and wife to enjoy. We believe that beginning with that, our kids have a healthy and godly perspective of sex.

So because sex is a free topic of conversation within our family, I’ve been asked the funniest questions.

Daughter: Mom, what is a condom?

Me: Where’d you hear about that?

Daughter explains. Something about seeing it on Musical.ly and it being blown up like balloons.

Me: (after warning her about being careful of what she watches online) It’s a thing that keeps the sperm from uniting with the egg.

Daughter: (after asking where it’s placed, etc etc) Wait, why would they want to keep the sperm from the egg?

Me: So the mommy won’t get pregnant.

Daughter: Eeeeeew, so you mean people do it just for fun????

Me: Hahaha, yes! God created it for husband and wife to enjoy, remember?

 

Daughter: I know what sex is.

Me: Okay, what is it?

Daughter explains what she learned from her science class.

Me: Yes, that’s right.

Daughter: But how does the sperm meet the egg?

Me: I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Daughter: I know mom.

Me: Okay tell me.

Daughter: The private part of the boy and the private part of the girl.

Me: Okay…..

Daughter: But mom, which private part? Here (pointing to her chest) or here (pointing to her crotch)?

 

Hahahah, I love conversations with our girls! It keeps me on my toes, and keeps me seeking God’s wisdom. I pray for courage, wisdom and discernment when the time comes for you to begin and to continue that conversation with your kids, in Jesus’ name.

 

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 
and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:6-9
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About Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.

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