my dating life

My husband and I have been teaching in our church’s marriage preparation seminar called Before I Do for the past few years, along with our Family Ministries pastor Ptr Chico and his wife Maryanne and with our Kids Church pastor Ptr Carlo and his wife Lea. It’s an opportunity given to us that I consider such a privilege. First, we get to share our lives and impart to engaged (and some newly married) couples. We get to be candid about our marriage, about the things that God has been teaching us and the things that we are still struggling with. We get to show them, hopefully, that marriage is a picture of God’s grace. We get to point them to Jesus, that though we can do our best to try to meet each other’s needs as husband and wife (that’s our topic — his needs, her needs), only Jesus can truly complete us and perfectly meet each of our needs. Second, I get to teach with my husband. It’s like a working date for us. Well at least last night was. There have been times in the past when our kids would be waiting in the office for us, one of them would pop into the room while we talked about something sensitive, or I’d have to run out to tend to a crying infant.

Yes, a “working” date. Spending time together while serving. Maybe it’s the fact that we get to do something meaningful and fruitful together. Maybe it’s the topic. Maybe it’s the passion we share in reaching out to singles and teaching about relationships. Maybe it’s our desire to help young couples have great, God-honoring marriages. Maybe it’s the joy in knowing that we are obeying God (I do not like public speaking but this is where God has placed me). Maybe it’s the hope for a better future for each family represented there. Maybe it’s seeing God’s work in their lives. Maybe it’s all of that. And I just really truly enjoy teaching with my husband. 🙂

Having three kids can be tricky in terms of going out on dates, but it is something we need to fight for. Many months back I could remember our two older daughters complaining that their dad and I went on dates. They’d complain that it’s unfair that we leave them or say that they are not loved as much. Yes, daughters are many times overdramatic (weren’t you? hehehe). There was a time that I got so frustrated because I felt I was being condemned for wanting to spend quality time with my own husband! Ridiculous, right? Haha. But it’s true. We had to teach our daughters that they ought to be happy that their parents are taking good care of their marriage. They should be thankful that their parents prioritize their relationship. We had to assure them that we are taking care of our marriage not only because we love each other but because we love them.

Sometimes King calls and tells me to get ready for a quick date in the nearby mall. Sometimes we take a quick meal after a meeting we attend together. Sometimes I initiate it. That IS one of the perks of being married heehee — I don’t have to wait to be asked; I can do the asking. One day last month, I think we went to the supermarket with our eldest to get stuff she needed for school. When we got home, to King’s surprise, I told Danae that she can get down so that Daddy and I can go on a date. I had no real plan, but I wanted to take advantage of the availability of my mom’s helper to watch the kids. I was also surprised by Danae’s chipper attitude, as she said, “Okay, go. You kids have fun.” Haha. Finally, they’re on board! Noelle doesn’t complain anymore either. Gianna sometimes cries when I go, but she gets over it quickly. It’s not very often anyway. Once every two weeks at best. Going on a trip without the kids is the next goal haha. King dreams of whisking me away for a few days away from home, but for now, we will settle for quick getaways and a few stolen moments (hahaha #mganakawnasandali, #cheesy!). 🙂

Published by Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & my best friend, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active princesses who keep me on my toes. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share my sari-sari stories with you. 😊

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