We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary this month. King and I had a short date on the day of, while the girls were in their SPARKS class. We revisited Almon Marina, a restaurant where King laid his intentions for me, asking me if I would agree for us to get to know each other better. I thank God for preparing me the day before (yup, you read it right, hahaha — click here for the story), and for orchestrating it so cleverly — God really got me, that I just knew it was right to say yes.

A friend of ours asked me what it felt like to be married for 9 years. I just shrugged, laughed and said I didn’t know because we are so comfortable with each other. Then I said WE’RE COMFORTABLE BUT NOT COMPLACENT. I was surprised by my own words, that I even came up with that answer. But it is the truth.

I am so comfortable with King. We share everything, and I am never afraid to tell him or show him anything. I can be myself. I can always be truthful. I can trust him. He is the same with me. Maybe even too comfortable, haha.

AND YET, I am not complacent because as wonderful a man as he is, he is not immune to temptation. I am not complacent because I know I am not immune to temptation. We cannot be complacent because as happy as we are in our marriage, it is not perfect. We are both flawed, and we need to take extra care so that the TRUST between us is intact. We SELF-GOVERN, maintaining our boundaries with other people and respecting each other’s comfort level when relating to others. We look out for each other and pray for each other. We strive to be on the same page, especially on being parents, constantly realigning ourselves to the word of God and with our goals and desires. We go out on dates. We talk. We remain intimate with each other. We laugh. We play together. We work together. We give each other space. We encourage and support each other. We surprise each other. We go on vacations.  We appreciate one another and constantly express our love for each other in words and in deeds.  We do our best to honor each other, but when we don’t, we admit our mistakes and we forgive each other. We choose to REMAIN IN JESUS because all good fruit comes from Him. Without Him, we can do nothing.

We have been together for nine years, but we are not foolish to think it takes less work to keep our marriage strong and solid. We are growing more and more comfortable with each other, but we remain vigilant with this great gift God gave us to be stewards of. And by His grace, we will still be singing the same tune by our 50th (or 60th?) wedding anniversary. 🙂

 

and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:5-6

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

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About Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.

3 responses »

  1. lea santos says:

    Love what you wrote… Spoke to me. Thank you for sharing.:) Missed reading your blogs… Keep ’em coming!:)

  2. […] It’s cool to shift our loyalty from one fast food chain to another (I myself have no loyalty to any), but we can’t do that between our spouse and our best friend. A wife’s husband and guy best friend should be one and the same person. A husband’s wife and girl best friend should be one and the same person as well. It’s about unity of husband and wife. Being ONE. It’s difficult to achieve that if King had to compete with “my guy best friend” for my time, priorities, loyalty, affection. If I had “him” to run to and I’m sure at times compare King with, it would become easy for me to run away from issues instead of facing them and working on them with King. If I had “him” to give me my boosts, I might eventually learn to cling to him instead of to King. Let’s not fool ourselves in thinking that we are above such kind of behavior, or that our marriages are strong enough. Our own pride will set us up for a fall. We must never be complacent. […]

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