“My Bully”

Danae and I were talking about short hair this morning, when Danae mentioned her former classmate in regular school who had short hair. She called her “my bully.”

I knew Danae felt bullied before, but it just surprised me that she actually labelled the girl with such ownership. Naturally, we told her that it was a long time ago, that the girl may have changed already, and that she should forgive and refer to her as her old classmate, not her bully.

As I was encouraging her to love her enemy, she refused to listen. She said she doesn’t love her. I persisted, telling her that even though she doesn’t see her classmate anymore, she can love her by forgiving her, hoping the best for her, and not calling her a bully. She agreed, to appease me, but I saw her eyes getting teary. When I called her for a hug, she started bawling.

Sadly, that girl really hurt my Danae. Her mean words still have an effect nearly two years later. Danae was also crying because she remembered saying those mean words back. I wanted to cry with her. I told her that I was sorry that something bad like that happened to her and that that was one of the reasons (not the only) why I took her out of regular school. What she said to me then surprised me even more. She tearfully said “THANK YOU MOMMY.”

Wow. That was probably one of the most meaningful, sincere bursts of appreciation from my eldest daughter. I know she loves homeschooling, but she has never thanked me for choosing it over regular school.

We then agreed to forget about what happened in the past and forgive her old classmate. We prayed.

It’s amazing what we can learn about our children’s hearts by TALKING to them and LISTENING to them. It’s amazing, too, how a few choice words can make such an impact in our hearts, let alone those choice words said to us everyday for a period of ten months. Thank God He enables us to love, forgive, learn, and move on from bad experiences. Thank God He heals.

He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
    Lord, be my help.”