King and I celebrate our 8th anniversary today! It’s been eight years of highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, breakthroughs and struggles. Eight years of LEARNING. We have been to 2 marriage retreats in the past month. We learned a great deal from listening to our leaders’ stories and testimonies.

In both retreats, Ptr Ferdie Cabiling and his wife Judy shared about the roles of husband and wife. Submission is a tough pill to swallow for most women, and there are times it’s hard for me too. I know I am not inferior, but equal in worth. I have a different role, but I am equally loved by God. I know I am not supposed to blindly obey my husband, that he is not Jesus therefore I should not obey him like I obey Jesus. What’s tough is having my own opinions, ideas, strengths, and yet still have a SUBMISSIVE SPIRIT. Saying my piece, having a calm discussion, without being argumentative and prideful, without shoving it down his throat.

To submit is to voluntarily give allegiance to my husband, willingly respond and tend to his needs, be supportive of him, and to voluntarily give up my will so that I can serve and care for him. It is an act of faith because I am relinquishing control, trusting that God knows what is best for me. It is looking beyond my husband & his imperfection, and looking at God’s authority, wisdom, power, goodness….His perfection. It is an act of obedience TO GOD, not to my husband, because I am yielding to His will. It is an act of love and commitment towards God, towards King, and consequently towards our children.

I thank God because it may be hard at times, but King is such a good man that many times, it’s not hard at all. In fact, it reassures me that my husband is Kephale (Greek) which means FIRST INTO BATTLE. He is not Arche, which means beginning, first, prince, ruler. He is my leader, but my fellow soldier. He goes ahead of me, but we are in this together. Honestly, I do not want to be first into battle! I don’t want to be the one to scope the situation out and to decide whether to advance or retreat. I don’t want the burden that he carries on his shoulders. He is not the head of the chain of command, but the head of the chain of responsibility, the driving force of which is LOVE. He takes responsibility for me and our children.

King is not perfect but he is the best husband for me! He never lords over me. He takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration when making important decisions. He prioritizes me and our family. He is faithful to me. He is trustworthy. He loves God and relies on Him for the ability to love and stay committed to me and our children. And he expresses that love through words, gifts, affection, service and time.

I thank God for blessing me with a head, a leader, a husband like King. Submitting is not easy, but I willingly submit to him.

Happy 8th anniversary, Babe! Looking forward to 8 more years of learning and loving. I love you! 🙂

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

This is post #1 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #2! 🙂

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About Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.

4 responses »

  1. […] is post #2 out of 8, for 8 wonderful years! Click here for post #1 and here for post […]

  2. proud of you, phoebe. happy anniversary to the two of you. people are blessed continuously by your testimony

  3. […] Ridge in 2010. Danae and 1-year-old Noelle, plus our then yaya, were with us. The third (2011) and fourth (2012) were both also in Tagaytay, in Taal Vista Hotel. We had no kids with us! Our fifth (also 2012) was […]

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