Our in-house helper is out on her regular day off, and our stay-out helper could not come today because her husband is in the hospital. So my first mission was to clean the vinyl table cloth on our dining table. I got a sponge and put some liquid detergent to lightly wipe it. Oh the dirt! I wiped it many times and it was still not clean. I’d been at it for 30 minutes. I kept asking myself “IS IT WORTH IT?”

I decided it wasn’t and threw it out. It was old anyway, and King has always said he didn’t like it. So I chucked it.

I know other people would have stuck with it. For others, it would have been fairly simple and quick to clean. But I am not equipped with speedy cleaning abilities or much patience haha. It was just not worth the time I was putting into it. I had to set the table, make breakfast (sandwiches), tidy up, and cook rice for lunch as well.

It got me thinking about my marriage and my kids. Would I give up when it gets to be too much work and entail too much time? When it’s the same issue that doesn’t seem to get resolved over time, would I deem it unworthy of my time and effort? When exasperated and exhausted, would I actually throw my hands in the air and walk out? When my heart is breaking, would I allow myself to put up a wall and just not care anymore?

I am grateful that though our marriage is not perfect, my husband is a good, faithful man. We have issues, but they’re not big enough for me to question our union. Not big enough for me to want to give up on us. King is a man who trusts in the Lord. When I am shaky, he reminds me that things are NOT HOPELESS.

Lately, I have been feeling exhausted and exasperated by my kids. King keeps reminding me that IT’S A SEASON. Sigh. Another season of always fighting, always refereeing, always repeating the same words regarding the same issues. Sometimes, I am left in tears, not knowing what to do anymore.

That’s the thing about having a great husband. When I already, in my mind, give up, King comes to pull me back in and lock arms with me so we could deal with it together. And this is what I’ve discovered about BEING A MOTHER. My heart really NEVER could, even if I really really want it to and perhaps even if I have every reason to, GIVE UP on my children. I eventually get a hold of my emotions, forgive, and teach them with love and compassion once again.

As we teach our children HOPE, to rely on JESUS to help them do what is right and what is good, we must also be reminded of the hope that we parents have in Jesus. We must do our part in raising our children right, but we cannot rely on our own abilities to do so. We must trust in the sanctifying work of Jesus in their hearts as we continually teach them His word.

It’s going to take everything I have to keep teaching my children, especially because there will be times they will not want to listen and maybe only pretend to be listening, there will be times they will break my trust and my heart at the same time, there will be times they will question my love for them, and especially because there will be times I will make mistakes (which God knows I have) and question myself, but IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT.

To see them grow, break through, and live out their God-given destinies, will make it all COMPLETELY WORTH IT.

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About Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.

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