I’ve told King that in a way, I’m grateful that this (slipped disc) happened to him and not me, because I would not have gotten through it with much grace. I’m a big baby when it comes to pain! As I put myself in his shoes, I could only imagine the thoughts running in his mind and the frustrations he must have felt.
Being dependent on another person for your basic needs doesn’t sound like much of a big deal, and some of us might even think it great to be served and waited upon. But think about it. Meals. Basic hygiene. Nature’s calls. Not only that. We take our bodies and movements for granted. We don’t even think twice about sitting up or abruptly getting out of bed or turning on our side in bed. King could do none of that for at least 3 days. Lying flat on your back is good for sleeping, but it’s pretty tiring when you have to do it all day. He needed me to do everything for him. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could handle not being able to help myself or handle letting someone else clean me. I wouldn’t be at peace putting so much burden on other people as well. King was very very grateful and appreciative, don’t get me wrong, but I would have complained and cried the whole time.
Being told that you won’t be able to carry your kids or do sports is pretty daunting. King is a very active individual. He has always been an athlete and a dancer. He loves to travel, go on tours, road trips & adventures. He loves to play with the kids. He loves to be daddy — daddy who protects his girls and carries them when they need him. Imagine. If you were the track, badminton & basketball athlete when you were younger and loves sports, how would you feel when you can’t walk fast, let alone run? If you love to dance and see that your kids love it too, how would you feel when you can’t even bend over or twist your body? How would you feel if it looks like you can’t go on adventures anymore, if it’s one of the things you love to do with your family? I’d probably be angry and disheartened at the same time. The saddest for him, actually, is the reality that he cannot carry his daughters or let them ride piggy-back. For now.
Watching the people around you go about their daily routines normally can be frustrating. King used to help out in the house as much as he could when we didn’t have a more regular helper. I could rely on him to do many things when I had to attend to something else. Him seeing me have a hard time and get tired must have made him feel helpless, and him feeling helpless must have gotten him very frustrated with himself.
Because of God’s grace, he has been able to break through. We have been able to break through. There were times that he felt impatient (read his blog about it) or that it seemed there wasn’t enough progress, but because we decided that I should not baby him and instead let him try to do normal things or find other ways to do them, and because we decided that he should challenge himself, he continually improved. Now he’s back at work! I can feel his joy and relief, that he can already go back to his normal activities. He has some therapy to go through still and though there are restrictions, we are very hopeful that he’s on his way to full recovery — maybe even go back to sports. He started dancing again the other night when he got challenged to a dance battle on my brother’s Xbox! It’s really really looking good! 🙂