My heart is just bursting right now. I have mixed feelings about a lot of things. It’s one thing to be the one receiving criticisms, judgments, doubts and the like, but it’s another thing when it’s directed at loved ones. It’s more hurtful and I feel quite helpless. But putting myself in my loved ones’ shoes, these are the questions that enter my mind. Is it human nature? Is it a disease or like a virus? Is it normal? Does every institution experience this? Must I accept it as it is? Where is the support? Where is your faith in my potential? What happened to taking risks, allowing mistakes? What happened to grace and humility? What happened to working as a team? What happened to valuing each team member? What happened to mentoring? What happened to being personal? When was the last time you asked me how I was? What happened to honesty & openness? What happened to unity & family? Why do I feel alone in this? Instead of showing me that you know better, why don’t you put yourself in my shoes first? Instead of just telling me what you see wrong, why don’t you help me? Instead of critiquing me, why don’t you teach me?
Then it dawned on me. I have asked these questions at one time or another as a wife and as a mom. Hahahaha. Sigh. I guess it does exist in every institution. But I do not accept it as it is and I do pray for change, for growth and progress. Thank God for His support, for His faith in me, for His mercy, for His grace, for His humility, for His love. Without Him, I wouldn’t be able to survive, much less thrive or succeed. I am somewhat sad, hurt and disappointed, but I am hopeful. “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.” Psalm 118:8