We recently attended Marriage Boosters with Ptr Chico and Maryanne Pena. We were the last batch of couples for this year. I’m sharing parts of my letter to King, which we were all assigned to do for our spouses, along with the very important lessons I learned and relearned from our tender-hearted, humble, wise, exemplary teachers.

My dearest King,

doing this marriage boosters with you has been really fun and quite revealing. i’ve enjoyed laughing, whether secretly or not, with you. thank you because you are a man with a big sense of humor….. i appreciate that you’re not as serious or as high-strung as i can be at times. i’ve also realized that there’s so much we still need to know about each other and that even the littlest details are important. i want to know you more….

> You can never be too young to learn to work on your marriage. King and I have only been married for 5 years. Somebody asked me if we needed to attend such a thing, maybe thinking that King is a pastor or that we seem happy or that we should still be in the “honeymoon” stage. Of course we do! There is much to learn and it’s better to learn them early on. Francis and Belle were there too, and they’ve only been married for 2 months!

> Have fun! Do things, learn new things together! Laugh together! Date regularly! I tell you, it was so refreshing to spend time with King without the kids for a couple of hours every week. We were there to listen to Chico and Maryanne, but there were many exercises that made us talk the way only married couples can or should talk. We laughed a lot about ourselves too. We really enjoyed it.

> There’s so much more to discover about your husband. Want to know more and be interested in him, in what he does, in what he likes. Let him know you more too. You’ve got a lifetime to do this. Marriage was not intended to be boring. Discovering each other is exciting!

i am grateful to God for giving me a man like you. you are imperfect, but you are 100% more the man than any other man could ever be for me. i truly believe that you are my half….better half? maybe hehe. but together, we are ONE. it doesn’t matter that we are different and we have different wavelengths at times. what matters is God brought us together because it was His plan and His purpose.

> Unity. I thank God that He gave me a man who shares the same faith and the same values I do, who shares the same vision for our family. We may think differently and approach things differently, but we are united in wanting to honor God in our marriage and in everything else.

> King and I don’t wear our wedding rings because they don’t fit anymore haha and we’re both allergic, but engraved on our rings are 3 names — King Jesus Phoebe. Our desire is to keep Jesus in the center of our marriage. We are not merely committed to each other as husband and wife, but committed to our God who authored our marriage. And that’s why we value, work on and fully invest in it.

i admire you for your humility. your heart to serve is just so amazing. i promise to always support you and pray for you. it doesn’t matter if other people don’t see. I see. God sees……I believe in you, babe. I believe in your anointing and your calling. but more importantly, I believe in the One who called you and is anointing you.

> Be your husband’s #1 fan! Be supportive, encourage him daily. Tell him constantly that you believe in him. Most men, my husband included, need verbal affirmation. We don’t want them to get their “boosts” from other women, do we?Β  Trust me, your husband’s eyes will twinkle when you tell him how much you believe in him and how proud you are of him. I think this was the part that made King cry when I read my letter to him. Hehehe.

> Stand by your husband. It is important that he knows where your loyalty lies, especially when situations are rough for him. It will strengthen your bond of unity all the more.

you are a dreamer, babe! you’ve got great big dreams. sometimes i am bogged down by unbelief, but you…. you dream big because your faith is big. thank you for being an example to me. and thank you for leading our family with such faith. thank you for dreaming big for me and our kids, for wanting to give the world to us.Β  i will dream and pray with you….and i will always be here for you, supporting you and standing with you as God prepares us for our dreams and as God prepares our dreams for us.

> Share your heart’s desires with each other! Dream together. Listen and pay attention to what’s in your husband’s heart. Don’t only pray for each other, but pray together. This will knit your hearts as one and strengthen your relationship — your friendship and your marriage. The best gift you can give to your children is a strong marriage.

> High appreciation is key! Be grateful for your one and only husband. I know sometimes when we’re mad or frustrated, it’s hard to be grateful. But if we could just train ourselves to make our emotions follow by taking our thoughts captive and obedient to Christ, it would make a huge difference. There are really times that I’m already frustrated but I would think of King’s good points haha. There is much to be appreciated about my husband after all, stuff that truly matter — his faith, his heart, his humility, his love for God, his love for his family.

> Pray for your husband, that his relationship with God is strong and healthy, but do not neglect your own. Our husbands are our leaders, but there will be times that they will be down. We must always be ready to encourage, to uplift, to speak life, to balance, to give wisdom, to pray. You can only give what you yourself have.

i love you, babe.

> Always tell your husband you love him. Always. πŸ™‚

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About Phoebe Torres-Lucero

I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.

22 responses »

  1. Charis says:

    “I am grateful to God for giving me a man like you. you are imperfect, but you are 100% more the man than any other man could ever be for me.”

    Gaya nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, buti na lang ikaw ang napangasawa ni King! Hehehe.

  2. may palacpac says:

    beautiful.
    yes, i agree, king is a big dreamer and i admire that about him as well. and yeah, jay is at his happiest everytime i tell him what i think he is and could be.
    that twinkle is for real! πŸ™‚

  3. Mommy Che says:

    aww, how sweet! πŸ™‚ Marriage is truly a work in progress, hindi pwedeng mag-relax-relax lang. Even if things are doing good, we can still make it better. We can learn new things from our respective spouses every day, if only we’d make time for it. great blog, phoebs! πŸ™‚

  4. Bethel Cruz says:

    WOW!! for me as a single woman, it inspires me to know these things from married couples. i learn alot πŸ™‚ thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚

  5. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Angeli Frencillo, Victory Alabang. Victory Alabang said: READ & REGISTER for the next MARRIAGE BOOSTERS! http://tinyurl.com/24lg9rv http://plurk.com/p/7fofla […]

  6. Dhang says:

    Indeed Ms. Phoebe very well said. What I like your blog is this word

    “what matters is God brought us together because it was His plan and His purpose.”

    Grabe ang sweet… YiiHeee! I’m so blessed that I have the chance to read this.. Umaapaw na wisdom from a woman of God. na-inspire at na-excite po 2loy ako.. More! More! Ms. Phoebe… Excellent Job. Weee πŸ˜€

  7. tin sy says:

    hehe i have to agree with Charis. πŸ™‚ love your blog. πŸ™‚ dami ding quotable quotes.. πŸ™‚

  8. phoebelucero says:

    thanks ladies. really appreciate you taking time to read my stuff and commenting. πŸ™‚

  9. Ria says:

    You know what Phoebe, I always look forward to hear Ptr King share some of your faith filled stories and he never stop talking about you, Danae and Noelle.It just shows the overflow of his love and priority for your family πŸ˜€

  10. jing almirez says:

    very well said phoebe! =) truly if a Marriage is a CHRIST-centered one it is always guided in the right direction. And not only should we pray for our spouses but we must also pray together (near or far). Edwin and I made it a point to pray together everyday at exactly 3pm (Manila time) wherever he is. And lastly, after 11 years and 3 kids, we never got tired of saying “i love you”… Up to this day, kinikilig pa din kami…hahaha! Cheesy as cheesy can be. =) As my motto would Stay happy…stay in love! You and King are doing a great job! =)

  11. Jenn says:

    how nice! you and king are great examples of how a husband and wife should be!

  12. Larry Uy says:

    wow, nice! sweet pal tong si king, Idol!

  13. Jeryl says:

    It’s very nice and sweet of you Phoebe to post this. πŸ™‚ thanks for sharing this to everyone. I always learn from you. And not only do I see you as a super mommy, you’re also “the pleasant and loving wife”… (and my ate-mommy. hahaha) you are all-in-all a great person. And I appreciate you. God bless your marriage BIG TIME! ^_^

  14. Jo Chris says:

    That was a great one!!! You never fail to inspire us. So many things to learn more. I am so thankful to have people like you sharing their thoughts and insights. Hahahaha… so blessed ni Kuya King.. :)))))) Kuya King, peace! πŸ˜€

  15. Claire says:

    nice one phoebs (as always) πŸ™‚ and love the last picture…so king, pinawisan ba ang iyong mga mata sa letter? hehe πŸ™‚

  16. ShirleyM says:

    That’s really nice and encouraging, Phoebe! You both are examples of love and humility.

  17. Thine says:

    got so kilig!!! may hangover p ko from couples getaway!! hehe I’m so inspired by your marriage!!! you both are blessed to have each other!!! Thank you for sharing this! πŸ™‚ kinikilig p rin ako!! haha.. pero not crying na ah!! πŸ˜‰

  18. […] It’s easy to say “Marry your best friend.” True, that would be ideal. But like I said, it doesn’t always work out that way. I, for one, didn’t marry my best friend. King and I barely knew each other when we got engaged!Β But we were both sure that it was God’s will and His timing. πŸ™‚ I didn’t have a guy best friend. King, being the popular guy that he is, had many close girl friends. But we chose to be each other’s best friend. We learned to set our priorities straight and to respect the boundaries we mutually (some spoken, some unspoken) set for ourselves. We learned to be deliberate in spending time and doing enjoyable things together. We learned to forg… […]

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