I believe I am a visual person. When I see something that catches my attention, I most probably will remember it for a long time. So you can bet that some of the obscene things I’d seen in the past are still in my memory, though I choose not to actually picture them in my head. I wish I did not get exposed to such things and have to go through that, but I did. I guess in this case, my memory loss or the slowing down of my brain (which I totally blame on giving birth and epidural hahaha) is a good thing.
And that is why guarding what our children watch is so important to me and to King. We want to protect our kids from things they see that could harm them. We do our best to monitor what they watch on TV and in the movies. At home, they can watch most of the shows on Playhouse Disney unless the content is about Halloween or anything scary, and very few shows on Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. They are not allowed to switch channels by themselves because of the possibility of accidentally switching to a channel that is totally not safe for any kid, such as channels that carry shows with violent or sexual content. We choose the movies that they watch in the theater, making sure beforehand as much as possible, that it’s safe, meaning no kissing scenes, no witchcraft, no foul language, no violence and anything we deem too mature for our children. If not, we’re ready to cover their eyes.
When Shrek came out, we watched it with the kids. We didn’t realize they’d be showing a lot of trailers of movies that aren’t kid-friendly! During the first trailer, King’s hand was over Pablo’s eyes, mine were on Danae’s and Noelle’s. Imagine how tiring that was! Danae was on my left on her own seat, while Noelle was on my right in her stroller. It was practically 2 minutes long. Only 2 minutes, but it seemed like forever for my unfit arms! After that first one, I asked King to bring Pablo and Danae out while the movie wasn’t starting yet. That was a good 10 minutes. After the movie, we also realized that it was funnier for the adults and too mature for the kids.
Recently, Danae came to the knowledge of a certain Justin Bieber and since has claimed that she loves him. She told me that she saw the video on YouTube and that there’s no kissing, only Justin’s face very close to a girl’s face. She even showed me, putting her forehead to mine. A few weeks ago, King left his laptop on at home while we were out on a date. When we came back, Danae told us about this new Justin Bieber song that she learned. After a while, I asked her where she got it coz I’d never even heard of it. She said she saw it on Dad’s laptop, and then King told me that he saw on his Google search the word “Jasten”. She did that by herself! We already told her that it’s not safe to just click away on the computer, and that not all shows on YouTube are okay for kids. Not all shows or videos are okay for adults, for that matter. She was disciplined for that, and since then has not been allowed to watch anything on YouTube unsupervised.
I know my daughter. She’s very perceptive and impressionable. And her memory is exceptional. But she’s only 4, for crying out loud!!! I don’t want her mind to be filled with unnecessary thoughts of boys and such. She’s already very curious about weddings and marriage, and we’ve recently been hearing the word “boyfriend” in her monologues. As you can see, we cannot shield her from EVERYTHING she hears or sees from people around and in places we go. But we still want to do what we can to protect her. It doesn’t matter to me if people think I’m overreacting or that I’m too strict. I don’t buy into the “it’s okay, they’re too young to understand it anyway” thing. I am a firm believer of NOT UNDERESTIMATING A CHILD’S INTELLIGENCE, even a child Noelle’s age or younger. Having said that, I am also a firm believer of NOT OVERESTIMATING A CHILD’S EMOTIONAL MATURITY. There are things we think our children are ready for, but they may really not be, even if we properly explain it to them or even if they seem to respond the right way. I choose to not expose my kids to certain things because I know what I went through — the impure desires that got stirred up from watching romantic shows, movies, videos, and reading romantic stories, also the foul language and bad attitude I picked up from all sorts of movies. I do not want my children to suffer from the same mistakes I made, whether from neglect on my parents’ part or from my own unwise decisions. It is just unnecessary to allow them to be subjected to that kind of torture. Torture???? Yes, TORTURE. You see something, it plays over and over in your head, you don’t know what to do with it, you can’t get it out of your mind, it affects your thoughts, your speech, your dreams, your behavior. Adult minds are not immune to this, more so young minds.
We are teaching our children to protect their minds and hearts by being careful with what they watch, what they read and what they hear. I only learned to do this at age 24 when I gave my life to the Lord, and am still doing it now at age 33. We want them to form this HABIT as early as now, so that it will, sooner than later, become a strong CONVICTION and a consistent LIFESTYLE. We pray that our girls will live pure and holy lives before God. That’s why we named them Katina Danae and Katrin Noelle. Katina and Katrin mean PURE. We claimed it then, we claim it now, and we claim it tomorrow and each day after that. 🙂
16 thoughts on “VISUAL, are you?”
LOVE THIS BLOG!!!
I REALLY REALLY AGREE TO IT!!! Ate you know what happened to me before and what you shared to your blog is amazing and its a reminder to me too keep myself PURE in front of Jesus. I realized also that, I can protect my future kids on the bad things that happened to me, so that they will not do the same mistake that I did before. Before I said, “If only I could turn back time and redo everything the right way.” But I’m glad because I have Jesus who can make me a “new creation”.
I definitely agree. 🙂 what we allow into our senses will affected our hearts. good mommy, Phoebe! ^_^
you said it perfectly! WHAT WE ALLOW INTO OUR SENSES WILL AFFECT OUR HEART. thanks jeryl. 🙂
I agree as well. You guys are really good role models!
*hehehe jasten ang cute mo danae!
I remember Kari Jobe (the worship leader who wrote Revelation song) once said that she grew up not having TV and now that she’s older, she thanked her parents for that. I totally agree with not overestimating a child’s emotional maturity. I was really surprised that Danae even attempted to search for Justin Beiber and even claims that she ‘loves’ him already. Hahaha! What is it for kids these days. Suuuupppper mature at such a young age.
I know right? Can’t do anything about her knowing Justin Bieber anymore. Believe me, it wasn’t our choice to expose her to him. All we can do is be there to guide and discipline her. But anyway, everything can be turned into a teaching moment, so it’s alright. Thank God for His grace and wisdom, and thank God my children are ultimately in His hands. 🙂
Not having a helper has made me a bit lax on that area for a while. It’s a good thing that Jay firmly insists on not having cable tv and just provide pablo’s multimedia entertainment via internet and dvds. lately, he’s instructed me to choose only what pablo can watch and has lessened time for computer games..usually once or twice a week na lang. it’s also a good thing cause pablo is digging his head into books and his drawings. but as you said, there are a lot of other external influences. your blog on literally using the bible verses in correcting your kids has pushed me to do that much more now. i believe that no matter what they see or hear, the Word of God is more powerful in their lives. 🙂
woah,parenting is hard work! but everything is really worth doing. learning alot from your blogs ms.phoebe, keep it up!
another note to keep …everyday is a learning experience from your kids Phoebz.thanks for this.Im sure this will be very useful for me in the future hehehe 🙂
I am also visual. At nagagamit ko rin yun pag exams. hahahaha… tinitingnan ko lang yung notes tapos naaalala ko na. At nagagamit din ng pagiging OC ko ang pagiging visual ko. hahaha..
Great blog Phoebe! I am so inspired (as always!!) to your blogs. It’s been a prayer to me na God will help me in raising my kids (i mean future kids..hahaha). I don’t want them to experience the same “torture” that I experienced. Todo prayer na to that my future children would really fear God and have a real relationship with Him. It’s so hard to be a parent nga talaga. But I’m thanking that God introduced people like you and Kuya King to be of a great influence to future parents. 😀 God will honor what you and Kuya King do to your children. Same thing to the parents who are so passionate in directing their kids to what is right before God. It says in Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” As long as parents do their part, God will do the rest. Trust Him. His word never fails. 😀
well said phoebe! You’re doing something great for your kids and later on they’ll thank you for it. a lot of people think TV makes parenting easier but in reality it’s not. Indeed, it’s both a blessing and a curse. Just like May, I’ve also been lax on matt’s tv viewing lately and now I’m paying the price. We often get into petty arguments over what shows he can watch. Good thing I still get him to obey. Nakakapagod lang to be consistent in reminding him but I’ve no choice but to do it.
Consistency is the key. Being a parent is the greatest job in the world, it’s not for the faint of heart but I love it!
Very good Blog Phoebe=) It is pure torture when you allow sin to lurk in your subconscious. Might as well nip it in the bud, no time to delay….Thank you for sharing=)