Visiting Coron made me appreciate the beauty of God’s work once again. (Check out the videos below, on the left side of this page.) The islands, the beaches and the clear blue water were spectacular. From the boat, I could already see the different colored corals. I was amazed to see pink ones, bright yellow ones. Then I thought, well God was the one who created all these colors, so it’s not surprising that such colors exist in the ocean. God’s beauty is boundless and it shows in His creation.
While I was underwater snorkeling, however, I found myself somewhat near the drop off. Remember in Finding Nemo, when Marlin freaked out when he found out that the kids were going to the drop off? Right by the corals, you’ll just see a vast expanse of blue. It was peaceful, but it was just too huge for me. I didn’t freak out like Marlin did, but I did get scared. It got me thinking. What if a huge fish, maybe even a whale, suddenly showed up in front of me? How would I react? I’d probably freeze in astonishment or scream in fear and excitement! The sea and everything in it is so beautiful, yet it’s so terrifying. The fish, the corals, the marine life are so wonderful to watch, but then you get a glimpse of the long spikes of the black sea urchin and you remember how dangerous the ocean is.
The more I got to thinking, the more I realized that most things, if not everything beautiful, are also terrifying. The strange rock formations in Coron were so beautiful and mysterious, I wanted to explore and check them out up close. But one misstep and the sharp rocks could definitely hurt or even kill you. My favorite animal is the tiger. It’s such a beautiful creature, with its beautiful striped fur, huge paws, cuddly face. But as much as I want to touch and play with a full-grown one (as I’ve already cuddled a cub), it’s risky because the danger is very real. Climbing up the Empire State Building is an experience and New York City is such an awesome site, but the strong wind and the extreme height can be pretty scary too.
Committing forever to a man I hardly knew (13 months to be exact haha), knowing that it was God’s will and timing, was one of the most beautiful things I ever experienced. Yet the uncertainty of our financial future was indeed a concern. Giving birth to my babies was an incredible experience, but it was also scary to be aware that anything could happen, complications and all. Many mothers have died from childbirth. Raising children is the most fulfilling, most wonderful thing in the world, but our responsibility to care for them and teach them is immense, making it terrifying to think of all the ways we can screw them up. Committing my life to the Lord was the most important decision I ever made. Because of it, I discovered the beauty of God — His love, His forgiveness, my freedom, my identity, my new life. But with it came giving up my old ways, giving up relationships that I was clinging to for security, tearing down my comfortable wall of anger and pride. Being vulnerable and unguarded can definitely be terrifying.
So do we let our fear keep us from experiencing the beauty of such things? Do we remain scared and be frozen by our fear? No. We go ahead, take a leap of faith even. We risk it, terrifying as it may be. Why? Because it’s worth it. I risked the danger of getting hurt, of being humiliated, of being uncomfortable, of making mistakes, of flaunting my flaws, of being different because it was worth it. Exploring the ocean was worth it. Marveling at nature was worth it. Enjoying New York City was worth it. Marrying my husband was worth it. Having my daughters was worth it, and raising them is worth it. My relationship with God is worth it. 🙂