February 25, 2013

Learning Modesty

We don’t have many magazines at home, but I did purchase one where my friend and her home got featured, and the one where my name was “published.” Danae was looking through the latter last week, but I took it back to check first if there were any articles or pictures not meant for children. Being a parenting magazine, it was pretty safe.

A while later, Danae commented on a picture of a woman in her underwear….

Danae: Eeeew, why is she like that?

Me: (looking at the ad) Oh because they’re advertising lotion. They’re showing that it makes your skin nice and smooth.

Danae: Even then. She shouldn’t be naked.

Me: Yeah, I agree with you Nae. You’re so right.

Last Sunday, Noelle was wearing a dress and thigh-high striped socks. When we got off the car, she was fussing over her dress. She felt that her dress was too short, despite my assurances that it wasn’t.

Noelle: People can see my butt.

Me: No, love. Okay, lemme fix it. (I think she was just feeling weird about the inner skirt, which I tied up so it wouldn’t show)

Noelle: (screams while giggling, holds her skirt down) There are boys! I don’t want anyone to see.

After I fixed it, she was still self-conscious, protecting herself from being compromised.

I thank God our girls are learning modesty as early as now. They’re learning what is acceptable and unacceptable, what is wise and what is not, what is pleasing to the Lord and what is not, not only with regards to what they themselves wear and do, but also what they allow themselves to see. We know that we cannot protect our children from all that is in the world, but we can build strong Christian foundations so they can make wise, God-honoring decisions on their own.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Posted by on February 25, 2013 in Discipleship, Just My Thoughts, My Kids, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Parenting, THE BRAINY BUNCH and tagged , , , .

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February 22, 2013

Culture of Generosity

We were peacefully watching a movie early last night when some kids came up to our gate. I asked our helper to go out and see what they needed. My curious girls ran to the window to take a look too.

Danae ran back to me, telling me that the kids are hungry. She excitedly said that we should give them the extra can of cookies we had. I just nodded and gave her the can. Our helper handed it to the kids outside as my girls watched from the window.

I read somewhere that we shouldn’t always give out compliments or be generous with our “good jobs!” to our kids. I can’t remember exactly why but I suppose it’s because it might teach them to be complacent or lazy, thinking their mediocre work is great. I suppose also that it may teach them to seek praise for every little thing they do, and as a result, they will not have the drive to do anything unless they are praised.

After what Danae did, I chose not to say anything. I believe that we have always encouraged generosity through our words and actions and have applauded it as well. But today, I wanted to teach her that her act was not extraordinary, and that in our family, it should not be extraordinary — it should be normal.

About 3 hours later, of course, I had to at least acknowledge what she did. It wasn’t right not to. There was no need to gush or make a huge deal out of it. I just gave her a hug and told her she did a good thing. She just smiled and went back to what she was doing.

Giving encouraging words is normal in our family. It’s our culture. I understand the concern about our part as parents in promoting mediocrity and a lack of motivation, when we over-compliment our kids. But I think that deliberately withholding praise is not the key. Excellence, hard work, and joy can still result from encouragement, if done truthfully and with a sense of normality. Our kids get used to being praised, and they also get used to constructive criticism and correction. It’s a matter of balance. The true key, though, is teaching our kids that we do not do things to seek praise from men, but to serve the Lord.

Our hope is that our girls get used to giving and sharing, whether they’re thanked for it or not, whether they are applauded or just hi-fived or not acknowledged at all. That even though nobody notices, they know God sees and that is enough.

Because excellence, hard work, joy, kindness, service, love are an overflow of the fullness of Christ in one’s life, generosity, exercised with wisdom, should be, will be, if it isn’t already, our family’s culture too.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 2:23-24

He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done. Proverbs 19:17

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45

Posted by on February 22, 2013 in Family, Just My Thoughts, My Kids, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Parenting, THE BRAINY BUNCH and tagged , , , , , , .

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February 14, 2013

What is L.O.V.E.?

When I was a kid, we always had a slum book we’d pass around for our friends to answer. The question WHAT IS LOVE? was commonly present. Now that I’ve been a wife for nearly 9 years and a mom for more than 7 years, I can have a stab at giving an answer other than “Love is blind.”

What IS love?

L.oyalty and honor
When you love, you honor and protect. You treat those you love with respect. You HONOR who they are, despite their flaws. You think and speak highly of them. You PROTECT their dignity. You do not judge them. You defend them to those who do judge. You give them the benefit of the doubt. You do not throw them under the bus. You remain LOYAL to them.

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Proverbs 3:3 NLT

O.penness and honesty
When you love, you exercise OPEN communication, allowing yourself to be HONEST, to be who you are, risking vulnerability, but also being ready to receive affection, encouragement, blessing, and even correction. When you love, you value the TRUTH. You value TRUST. You always speak the truth kindly and work at being worthy of trust. You value LISTENING as well. It manifests in your willingness to talk, to exchange thoughts, to learn, to agree to disagree, to forgive, to make PEACE.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19

Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:25-27

V.alue
When you love, you put VALUE in your relationship with that person. You INVEST your time, energy, and resources on them. You CARE for them. You value your relationship more than your ego, more than yourself. They are high in your list of priorities, that you are willing to SACRIFICE certain things for them, without asking for anything in return.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

E.ndurance
When you love and tough times come, in terms of marriage, you ENDURE by honoring your COMMITMENT to your spouse, your VOW before God, to be there in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and bad, till death parts you. In marriage AND friendship, you endure by PERSEVERING. You commit to persevere even through the hurt, the disagreements, the fights, the anger. You look beyond feelings and offenses. You forgive. You NEVER GIVE UP or turn your back on them. You stand with them through good times and bad. You work at BUILDING the relationship, not tearing it down. You value and you always HOPE for RESTORATION.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1Corinthians 13:4-7

When you are Loyal, when you are Open and honest, when you truly Value your relationship, when you are willing to Endure the difficult times…..albeit a limited definition, that’s LOVE, the epitome of which is JESUS.

Jesus remains loyal and faithful to us, despite our unfaithfulness to Him. He desires open and honest communication between us, not only teaching, encouraging, disciplining, and comforting us with the truth, but listening to us as well. We are precious to Him and He loves us dearly. He values us so much that He sacrificed His life so we could have a personal relationship with Him. He was willing to endure all the suffering, is willing to endure even our mistakes and disobedience now, fully committed to love us completely, continually and unconditionally. He restores, redeems, and gives us hope.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

Thank you Jesus for your unbelievably perfect love. I may not be able to grasp how wide, how long, how high, or how deep Your love for me is, and my words may not give justice to what love truly is, but I know YOU ARE LOVE. And only because of You, are we able to love You back and to love others.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! :)

Posted by on February 14, 2013 in Just My Thoughts, Marriage, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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February 8, 2013

What’s The Point?

It was King’s birthday the other day. I was thinking all day what we could do for him when he’d get home from work, until I decided to use the money I had set aside, to give to him as our gift. Noelle told me to just buy him a gift, but I really didn’t know what King wanted. I knew that it was something he was not used to, yet he would appreciate.

I explained to both my girls that the only budget we had for our trip to the mall was for their dad, and that we were not buying anything for them. Danae immediately pointed out that she had money. Noelle also had money. We agreed that they would buy according to how much they had.

King was shopping in the clothes section, while the girls kept pulling me to the school supplies. Danae finally chose a set of oil pastels, which was well within her budget. Noelle chose an art kit, 20 pesos beyond hers. I agreed anyway, figuring Danae’s money would be enough to cover it.

Lining up at the counter, Danae realized that she had left her 200+ pesos at home. She was upset, but I had to remind her of our agreement. I really did not have extra. And it wasn’t the end of the world anyway. She could still get them another time. Noelle on the other hand, had her 100 pesos in her wallet, which she had placed in her bag immediately after we counted her cash. I asked King for the 20 pesos that she lacked.

The whole thing reminded me of what Pastor Steve Murrell shared at our church’s Metro Manila staff meeting regarding passing the baton, after connecting it to a funny experience he and his brother had when they were teenagers. You can run the relay the fastest, but it won’t count for anything if you leave the baton at the start.

Exactly. Danae may have had more money than Noelle, but she got nothing out of our trip to the mall. Since she didn’t have it with her, it was useless.

What’s the point of all this learning, growing, equipping, if we don’t bring it and use it? What’s the point of running the race fast, if we don’t bring the baton and pass it? What’s the point of knowing the Gospel, of experiencing the love of Christ, of learning to live life to the full, of being discipled, if we don’t GO share and teach it to others?

Let’s not miss the point. Let’s not miss our mark. Honor God. Make disciples. #Discipleship2013 #Victory #EveryNation

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 1 Timothy 2:1-2

Posted by on February 8, 2013 in Discipleship, Just My Thoughts, My Kids, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Spiritual Family, THE BRAINY BUNCH, YOUTH MINISTRY and tagged , , , , , , , .

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February 4, 2013

We Weren’t Invited!

Some time last year, we were looking at pictures of a party posted on Facebook.

Danae: Aww, how come we weren’t there?
Me: Oh because we weren’t invited, love.
Danae: Why?!
Me: It’s okay, babe. We don’t always have to be invited.
Danae: But why? Did they forget us?
Me: No. Of course they haven’t forgotten you, but remember, not everybody will be invited to everything.

Danae was a bit bummed, but she quickly let go of it. My theory is she didn’t see either me or King feel bad or offended by it — something that we have learned through the years.

It’s true that with parenting, more is caught than taught. Our children pick up so many things from us, both good and bad. Because we spend the most time with them, our influence is just massive. It’s up to us to be responsible and conscious of what we pass on to them. Will we let them get our fears and insecurities? Or will we teach them, encourage them to respond better by getting over our own fears and insecurities?

Will we reinforce their feelings of rejection by showing them our disappointment or self-pity? Or even through the occasional disappointment, which of course everybody feels sometimes, will we comfort them and teach them to battle rejection by showing them acceptance and understanding — that it’s okay to not be part of every party that each of our friends will have?

Will we teach them to feel entitled, that they or our family should always be invited? Or will we teach them to be grateful for the events that we are privileged to be part of?

Will we teach them to hold grudges or harbor ill feelings towards other people? Or will we help them understand that not being invited does not mean we are unloved, unwanted, unimportant, unappreciated or forgotten? That not being invited does not diminish their value?

Will we teach them to find security in the love and acceptance of other people? Or will we teach them to be secure in their identity in Christ?

What do we want to pass on to our children, and what would we want them to pass on to theirs? Let’s be aware. Let’s be responsible. Let’s be deliberate.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9


Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Posted by on February 4, 2013 in Just My Thoughts, My Kids, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Parenting, THE BRAINY BUNCH and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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January 31, 2013

It Makes No Sense

Just a while ago, Noelle was whining because she wanted to get the ball from the box. My condition was that she finish her dinner first.

Noelle: I want the ball now. (whining and crying)
Me: You need to eat first.
Noelle: That doesn’t even make sense!
Me: Well, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just need to obey.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I thought of Noah who did not complain, but obeyed God when he was told to build a huge ark when there was no obvious need for it. He obeyed though the task seemed daunting, even impossible. He obeyed even when the rest of humanity misunderstood him. He obeyed though it seemed ridiculous, even when people laughed or criticized him. He obeyed even though he himself could not wrap his brain around what God was planning to do.

That’s the kind of attitude we should have as God’s children. We don’t have to understand everything. We just need to TRUST in His goodness, His love, His perfect will, and OBEY.

This is the account of Noah and his family.

Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. Noah had three sons: Shem, Ham and Japheth.

Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence. God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high. Make a roof for it, leaving below the roof an opening one cubit high all around. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you. You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them.”

Noah did everything just as God commanded him. Genesis 6:9-22

Posted by on January 31, 2013 in My Kids, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, Parenting, THE BRAINY BUNCH and tagged , , , , , .

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January 21, 2013

Winner!

Noelle was telling me about a game that she made up, last week.

Noelle: Mom, mom, I have a game.

Me: Okay. What’s your game?

Noelle: (explains the game — which I didn’t understand)

Me: Okay.

Noelle: If you lose, you lose. If you win, you REALLY win.

 

Hahaha. Oh-kay. That was clear. :)

Posted by on January 21, 2013 in LAUGH-A-MONDAYS, My Kids and tagged , , , , .

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January 21, 2013

Delivery!

Danae and I were talking about our friends Alfred, Amanda and their son Keon, whose birthday we celebrated last week.

Danae: Where do they stay when they’re here, mom?

Me: In tita Amanda’s mom’s house.

Danae: Have I been there?

Me: Ummm….

Danae: Oh right right, I have. When you and tita Amanda had dinner, we picked you up and then we DELIVERED her to her house.

 

Haha. Just like pizza huh? Cute. :)

Posted by on January 21, 2013 in LAUGH-A-MONDAYS, My Kids and tagged , , , , .

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January 17, 2013

Focus, Fruitfulness, and God’s Faithfulness

2012 was an amazingly fruitful year for me! Looking back at the pictures of people and events I took, looking at my pictures taken by other people in many church events and in friends’ homes, thinking about all the blogs I posted and all the get-togethers we hosted, not to mention the birthdays that we celebrated and family trips we took, plus homeschooling…..yeah, 2012 was indeed fruitful. Although it began as a blur, I was able to write down a few faith goals, one of which was to be productive, fruitful every day. God is faithful. He answered my prayer.

One of the faith goals I wrote down was regarding homeschooling, that God would confirm to me whether it was right to homeschool Danae or not, which of course He did. We began last June. I’ve posted a few about our experiences — Why Homeschool?, OurVery Own Homeschool Room, Perks of Homeschooling — Freedom and Creativity, Perks of Homeschooling — Flexible Hours, Perks of Homeschooling — Opportunities.

my name published! :)

my name published! :)

Another one I prayed for was that my name be published. I did not know how, when or where, but I just told God my desire. He answered that prayer in a really funny way. My friend Varsha Daswani asked me for some holiday safety tips because she was writing an article for a magazine. I sent her the few that I thought of, and later on she told me that she would quote me, and a bunch of our other friends, in the article. So there, my name is actually published in a magazine! Haha, I love God’s sense of humor!

This year, God’s word for me is FOCUS. Yes, He made me fruitful and productive last year, but this year I need to balance that. I need to focus on my priorities on a daily basis, do the things I need to do first everyday — personal quiet time, family devotions, exercise, and homeschooling. Everything else must work around those as much as possible.

I believe I started 2013 right, and there have already been breakthroughs in our homeschooling, even though it’s been barely a week since we began. Noelle has joined us, and Danae has somehow matured and no longer whines about working on her paces. Thank you Lord! We have been following a better routine, and it seems to be finally working for us. Most importantly, I think we all have BETTER ATTITUDES. Focus and keeping my priorities straight helps me to teach my children better, and therefore fosters a conducive atmosphere for learning. It really begins with me. God’s grace abounds when we obey.

I also started exercising again the day after I found out that I had high blood pressure. Thank God for annual physical exams! That was on the last week of December last year.  I’d been complaining about dizzy spells for more than a month, and that must have been the reason. Thank God it never spiked too high, especially with all the yummy food over the holidays. After our church’s annual January fast and exercising with our Xbox Kinect almost daily, I am happy to say that my blood pressure is normal again! It’ll take more exercise and a better diet to maintain this, of course.

I am grateful for 2012 and the many lessons I learned. I am thankful for the HOPE I have in JESUS, that even though I did make mistakes and I will still make mistakes, He is not finished with me yet. His mercies are new every morning. Every year is a new chance to do things right. Every day is a new chance to make the right choices.

I am hopeful for what is to come. Again, with the things I desire, I do not know how, where or when, but God is faithful. He wants to bless me and my family. His ways are higher than mine. His timing is perfect. :)

Posted by on January 17, 2013 in Homeschooling, Just My Thoughts, My Kids, Parenting, THE BRAINY BUNCH and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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January 14, 2013

With Ptr Sonny (part two)

I was at Sunday service yesterday when King told me about Noelle asking Ptr Sonny to buy her fries. A while later, Noelle came to me with fries in hand. She stayed with me till I finished service. I stay at the back so I do not disrupt others listening to the sermon. When we went back to the office, Ptr Sonny told me details about their conversation. We were having a good laugh, then he asked Noelle…..

Ptr Sonny: Do you have your fries already, Noelle?
Noelle: Yes.
Me: Did you share your fries with Tito Sonny? You said you were going to give him.
Noelle: (about to go into King’s office to get her fries, but paused and looked at Ptr Sonny) I said buy two eh.

Hahahahaha. :)

Posted by on January 14, 2013 in LAUGH-A-MONDAYS, My Kids and tagged , , , , .

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