Who are you?

About a month ago, I had the privilege to teach about Identity to the youth ladies of our church. As I was studying my notes and figuring out how to share my testimony, God reminded me about a tweet I posted: PURPOSE determines your priorities. In your IDENTITY lies your security. It was a nugget of truth I learned from a preaching by Ptr Bernhard Wewege of our New Zealand church.

Whatever or whoever it is that you identify with, you get your security from. Whatever it is that makes you feel secure OR insecure, is an indication of where you get your identity.

Do you feel very insecure when you don’t have make up on? Don’t feel pretty because you don’t have nice clothes, shoes, or bags? Can’t show yourself to anyone unless you are all dolled up? Can’t leave home without being all decked out? Do you look in the mirror every 5 seconds? Do you feel prettier or uglier, more accepted or less accepted, because of your skin tone? Do you feel good about yourself when people look at you and feel rejected when no one notices you? Your physical appearance may be a source of your security & identity.

Do you feel like a complete failure when you get one mistake in the quiz? Do you feel like you are a disappointment because you came second in the science quiz bee? Or if you didn’t get into the school or company you wanted? Do you have a difficult time moving on from a failure? Do you feel significant when you are recognized for your skill? Or insignificant when nobody recognizes your abilities? Your achievement, intelligence, or talents may be a source of your security & identity.

Do you feel insecure when you don’t have the things other people have — toys, gadgets, phones, cars, money, club memberships? Conversely, do you feel more secure, more complete having these things? If you have them, are you afraid of losing them? Will your world crumble if you lose one of them? Or are you at a loss at the mere thought of it? Your security may lie on material wealth and the comforts it brings.

Does one person make you deliriously happy? Do you feel lost when he or she is not with you? Does this person’s presence make you more confident in yourself? Or, does his or her absence leave you in despair? Do you feel empty when you are not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? Your security (and identity) may lie on one specific person (friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, parent) or on having a relationship.

Are you riveted by the fact that guys or girls look at you and want to be with you? Does it make you feel good to see that men or women still show interest in you, despite your age or unavailability? Does it make you feel good to know that you can get the “un-gettable,” unavailable man or woman? Does the chase excite you? Being desirable or desired may be a source of your security & identity.

Do you feel useless when you’re not doing anything? Do you feel the need to always serve or please people? Do you find significance in getting smiles and words of appreciation from people? Do you feel rejected when you are not appreciated, not recognized for your efforts? Maybe being needed is your source of security & identity.

The list goes on. Our identity, whether we know it or not, dictates how we live our lives. The question is, what IS our real identity?

We were made in God’s image and likeness — glorious, beautiful, pure, holy. Sin ruined that. Satan stole our identity and left us lost, but God made a way, more accurately the way, the only way to bring us back to our original identity — Jesus, who while 100% God allowed Himself to be 100% human at the same time, died on the cross so that He could exchange our unrighteousness with His righteousness, therefore giving us the ability to be reconciled to the Father and have direct access to Him, and lived on earth for 33 years so that we could identify with Him, and be led back to who we are and what our purpose is.

You are glorious, beautiful, pure, holy. That is who you are. That is how God made you. Your purpose is to be with God, in His presence daily, and because many are lost, your purpose is also to help them know the truth about Jesus and about who they are in Christ. Believe it. Once you view yourself according to how God views you, your actions and decisions will change. Once you view your life according to God’s purposes, your lifestyle will change.

So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

For he chose us in him before the creation of the worldto be holy and blameless in his sight. In love  he predestined us for adoption to sonship  through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace,which he has freely given us in the One he loves. Ephesians 1:4-6

VBC 2013

It’s been a week since Victory Alabang’s Vacation Bible Camp and my kids still sing and dance to the songs! I have LSS, last song syndrome, of the songs too. Even as an adult, I am so blessed by the lyrics. The worship song Master of the Universe ministers so much to me. Another favorite is God Does Miracles.

Like I said in my previous post, Danae and I volunteered to be part of the dance team. What we did was lead the kids to dance to the songs of this year’s theme, Cosmic City. We danced the theme song on stage, and danced it, along with other songs, in the classroom. There were 5 groups of kids — the 4-year-olds (Noelle’s group) named Red Comet, the 5-year-olds named Green Planet, the 6-year-olds named Yellow Star, the 7-year-olds (Danae’s group) named Blue Moon, and the 8-to-10-year-olds named Orange Sun — who came into our room. We had time to teach the kids around 3 to 4 songs per group. We danced practically all morning for 3 consecutive days!

During lunch after the third day, our Kids Church pastor Ptr Carlo Santos thanked all the staff and volunteers for their contribution to make the whole event a success. He thanked me too for being involved, and I just smiled because I didn’t really know what to say, until now.

I am so grateful for the honor and the privilege to serve again in Kids Church. You thank me, but I really thank you more, Ptr Carlo, Merlee, Grace, and Leni for allowing me and Danae to volunteer! Teaching the pre-schoolers was my very first ministry involvement when I became a Christian and an active member of our church 12 years ago. I love Kids Church! I was so inspired by last year’s VBC that I made sure I volunteered this year. It was my first time to be part of the dance team, and I loved every single minute of it! It was tiring but it was so much fun and so rewarding, seeing the kids enjoy praising God through their songs and dance moves.

Some of us ladies experienced health problems before or during the event, but none of it stopped any of us from showing up and dancing. I just want to honor my team mates for honoring their commitment to God and to the kids. I am so blessed by you!

I have truly missed being a volunteer! Not that I don’t do anything in church. As a pastor’s wife, I am a full-time volunteer. But there’s just really nothing like volunteering with church mates, making new friends, bonding with them, working together, learning and getting impartations from one another. I love being part of a team and “getting down and doing the dirty work.” Now that my kids are older, I can actually do more of it and get them involved as well. I am excited for more!

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35 ESV

Master of the Universe

You are the Master
Of the universe
Of the mountain, seas and sky
You’re the Master of
Every beat of my heart
You put rainbows in my eye

You’re the God
Who keeps on loving me
No matter what I do

In Your world without end
You call me friend
Oh Master I love you

God Does Miracles

My God does miracles
He is strong and powerful
He can do anything
He is Lord of everything

He is awesome
He’s my friend
I can believe in Him
I know that God does miracles

When Jesus was preaching and teaching
A lame man came for healing
Jesus had mercy and forgave his sins
And he could walk again

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Danae Can’t Dance?

Danae and I had been practicing the past week with our church’s Vacation Bible Camp dance team. We volunteered to join the team that would lead the praise dance on stage and with the kids in the classroom. On Tuesday night, Danae pulled a muscle as she ran abruptly to chase Noelle while we were at the mall. She was limping the rest of the night. When we got home….

Me: How’s your leg?
Danae: Still owie (painful).
Me: Does that mean you can’t dance in VBC on Thursday?
Danae: (thought for a brief second) Lord, please heal my ouchie. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Me: Amen.
Danae: I’ll still dance.
Me: Okay.

I love my daughter’s response! Instead of getting worried and instead of conceding to the pain she was feeling, she PRAYED! She didn’t let a little pain get in the way of her COMMITMENT. Even today, the 3rd and final day of VBC, as she woke up with a sore, tired body, she still danced with us. I am so proud of her! My prayer was for her to learn commitment and SERVANTHOOD through this experience. And I believe she did.

I thank God for the opportunity to impart to her the JOY of serving God and His people, and to actually serve WITH her. I think we even inspired Noelle and two of their girlfriends to volunteer with us next year too! :)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Drama-free Momma

A friend and I were talking about families last week, and I realized that my family is pretty “drama-free.” There aren’t really any issues, at least none that I’m aware of haha. It wasn’t drama-free when I was a teenager and a young adult, pre-Jesus, but it’s been peaceful for a long time now, even before my Dad passed away. I told my friend that I think we are a family that doesn’t make issues out of little things.

I think it has a lot to do with my Mom who, like I’ve said before, is pretty low maintenance. She’s very independent. Being retired, she has control of her time and keeps herself busy with her own stuff. She doesn’t demand us to drop everything for her. She drives herself, comes and goes as she pleases. But when I need her help with picking up or dropping off the kids when she’s available, she’s always willIng. She doesn’t require much of her children, in fact, except to answer her calls, reply to emails, attend family gatherings and attend to family matters. She gives us advice, but doesn’t meddle in our affairs. She doesn’t demand from us financially. On the contrary, she often blesses me and my brother and our families.

There’s rarely an issue with her because nothing’s ever a big deal. She isn’t over emotional. Sure, we annoy each other at times, just like all moms and daughters, but neither of us holds grudges. Not anymore, at least.

I really appreciate my Mom for who she is. Our methods of motherhood are different, but many of the values I hold and teach my kids today are from her and my Dad. I appreciate her for being a great mom-in-law to King. I want to be as cool as she is when I have my own sons-in-law one day. I appreciate her for being a loving grandmother to my girls and my brother’s boys. I want to be as generous as she is when I become a grandmother.

I love you Mom! I thank Jesus for you and for making a way to restore our relationship. Happy Mothers’ Day! :)

Still, Why Homeschool?

I still encounter people who ask why we homeschool, as if it’s a step backward or a step in the wrong direction. Well, I’ve written a few articles about the perks I’ve experienced so far. I’ve also actually written about why we homeschool, but it’s not like I can just direct people to visit my blog to read my answer so I wouldn’t have to go into detail. So here’s the short answer. I found it while I was reading up on some quotes.

“True education does not consist merely in the acquiring of a few facts of science, history, literature, or art, but in the development of character.” – David O. McKay

While it used to be that academics was the only important thing, the only thing that mattered in a young person’s life, it is no longer so. At least for us. We are after the building of our children’s character. Danae is 7 and Noelle is 4. They are like sponges, absorbing and learning everything they are exposed to. We’ve been to regular school and though it had its benefits, we didn’t like what happened to our eldest child’s character, even to her vocabulary and her behavior. While they are in their formative years, we want to build strong Christian values in them, and the best place for that right now is HOME. We are not perfect role models for our kids either, but we are more willing to take that risk than to knowingly push them into an environment where unnecessary exposure to many worldly influences at too young an age is inevitable.

We are aware that we cannot protect them completely, which is why we do more than just protecting at this stage. We are EQUIPPING them for the world. We want them to grow up prepared — prepared to stand up for what they believe in, prepared to say no to ungodliness, prepared to love God and love others even when it is difficult, prepared to go and make disciples for Jesus. This is our hope, as we do our job as parents and as we allow Jesus to transform our children.

I am a pastor’s wife and maybe some might think it is most convenient and most affordable for us. The latter may be true, but let me just tell you that there is nothing convenient about homeschooling. While there may be perks (relative to how one perceives it of course), it is not easy. It takes hard work, planning, time, effort, discipline, tons of patience, creativity, and a great deal of LOVE. Who better to love a child? Who better to labor for a child? Who better to teach a child, fueled by that great unconditional love and the immense desire to help them know and love Jesus, than his or her own parent?

I think that even if I were not in ministry, I would still homeschool my kids. There’s just no getting around that hope, that love, and that desire to help them know and love Jesus. :)

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Blessed is the man
    who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
    nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
    planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
    and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
    but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
    nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
    but the way of the wicked will perish.

Psalm 1:1-6

My Little Boy?

King and I went on a double date last night with our good friends John and Joyce. The plan was to meet them inside the mall to have dinner and watch Iron Man 3, which was completely awesome by the way, and I don’t think anyone can play Iron Man better than Robert Downey, Jr! We love love loved it!

Anyway, as we entered the mall holding hands, King paused, tugging my hand, telling me that the laces on his left shoe had come undone. Knowing that he couldn’t bend down to do it himself because of his back (we are being careful not to overwork it since his slipped disc in 2011), I handed him my phone, set my bag down on the floor, and got down on one knee to tie it for him.

It wasn’t a big deal since I’ve done it before in public, but this time, King saw some girls’ reactions as they witnessed the whole thing. They couldn’t help but react, saying “Nye!” (Filipino way of saying What?! What the?!) and giggling. King felt a little embarrassed and we had a good laugh out of it.

I can just imagine what was running through their minds. I looked like a mommy tying shoe laces for her little boy! King looks like a normal, healthy man, and if you’re not “in the know,” then you would never think of any reason he wouldn’t be able to tie his own shoe laces, except maybe that he’s an egotistical, cruel, spoiled boyfriend who just wanted his way. Hahaha.

And who knows who else saw? What if instead of finding it funny, they had made up their minds about King, thinking judgmental thoughts, giving him nasty stares, and muttering disrespectful comments? It’s not like I could explain to everybody around why he couldn’t do it himself.

Just goes to show that we can never assume anything or make conclusions based on what we see. Even when we think we know, we really don’t. We don’t know the back story. We only know what we see, and that’s never enough to size anybody or any situation up.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2

I Said Yes

King couldn’t offer me the moon because it was too far. He couldn’t offer me the sun because it was too hot. He couldn’t _ADY0013offer me wealth because he had none. But he offered me his love. Exactly nine years ago, he asked me to be his queen. I said yes then, and I would say yes again and again and again.

72887_626859087328790_1406404459_nI love you, babe. You, next to Jesus, are God’s greatest gift to me. You are one of the best reminders of God’s extraordinary work in my life. I cannot thank Him enough for taking me out of the mire, out of the desert, and for ushering me into a new, full life. He redeemed and restored me. He made me new. And as if that wasn’t enough, He blessed me. He gave me you. Happy “ninth proposal anniversary!” I love you. :)

 

Jesus and Parenting

2012 was such an enlightening year for me, especially in parenting. There was a season where I was always stressed, very easily angered and often very much frustrated. I would complain to King about how our kids were turning out. They had their great moments, no doubt, but when they would disobey, I would be infuriated and frustrated. I felt like it was the same things over and over again. I felt exhausted.

On one occasion, I couldn’t help but ask King what we were doing wrong. I felt like we were doing our part. I’m a hands-on, stay-at-home mom, for crying out loud! We teach them God’s word, pray with and for them, spend quality and quantity time with them, teach and show them life lessons constantly, make memories with them, provide for them. We encourage them and are affectionate towards them. We don’t spoil them and we discipline them. How come it’s as if all our efforts are futile? They still disobey, disrespect, and fight us.

As I was ranting, I just felt God speak these incredible words to me:

“BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING IT ABOUT YOU.”

That’s when it dawned on me that I WAS making it about me, about my own ability to change my children. I was unknowingly parenting with what I believed was the formula. I mean, I always knew that there’s no formula in parenting, but right then I realized that that was what I was doing. I expected results based on my work, on my skill as a parent, which is why I was always angry and frustrated. I took on the burden and the pressure to “make” godly children, when that is JESUS’ JOB.

It was so liberating to repent before God for my pride, my self-trust and self-dependence; to RELINQUISH CONTROL and give it back to Jesus, because only He can transform my children to be like Him, into Christlikeness. I, we, will do our part as parents, continually pray for them, do our best to be examples to them and sow into their lives, but that’s just about all we can do. I AM NOT JESUS and just as I could not save or morph myself, neither can I save or transform my children. I need to trust in the finished work of Christ, not on my imperfect, incomplete, limited efforts, and teach our children to do the same.

Parenting is still not stress-free of course and I am still very much flawed and human, but I don’t have to be the overbearing, ever-angry, ever-frustrated mom I was last year. I am relearning to pick my battles and to let go of the little things. Because of Jesus and His finished work, I am FREE TO LOVE and enjoy my children more.

Thank you Jesus for bringing me back to the Cross and for putting me in my place. :)

For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time. Hebrews 10:10 NLT

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 ESV

Learning Modesty 2

We went to our friends Ding and Dons’ resort called Beach Camp in Batangas on Sunday morning, two weeks ago. We were with a few adults and 8 kids. King and my friend May’s hubby Jay followed that night, after a full day of work in church.

The place was grassy and it was very safe for the kids to run around, go in and out of our cottage. Plus it was just us. No other group was in the camp. While I was fixing something in the dining area, Noelle needed to do number 1. I sent her to our cottage and to ask help from Danae. Apparently, there was someone in the bathroom and so our friend Ding, who was the only Daddy (also of two young ladies) around at the moment and was there in the cottage, took her to a bathroom in another cottage.

Ding was so amused, telling us the story.

Noelle: (in the bathroom) Close your eyes. You’re a boy.
Ding: (closed his eyes as he helped Noelle) Okay.
Ding wanted to check if she was done so he opened his eyes.
Noelle: HEY!!!
He didn’t realize she was watching him, so he shut his eyes immediately. Hahaha. But of course he had to help her when she had finished.

We all had a good laugh. It was so unexpected but it shows me that our 4-year old gets it. BOUNDARIES. MODESTY. SELF-RESPECT. :)

Please Wait!

My friend from Japan sent us some gifts last week — yummy truffles for me and King, a clay play set for Noelle, and a scrunchie-maker for Danae. The girls were thrilled with their new toys. They hurried eating their breakfast so they could play, despite our request to wait.

To make the long story short, Danae couldn’t wait. Instructions were in Japanese, but she went ahead and tried to make it work. She managed to get the big lump of stretchy yarn stuck in the weaving contraption! We just heard her groaning, asking for scissors. I tried to help, but couldn’t. King stepped in and was the one able to fix it for her.

It just reminded me of how we are. We’re in a new, exciting season, and we can’t wait to enjoy it. But we realize we’re on unknown territory. We don’t know what to do. We want help, but we’re not patient enough to wait for it to arrive. Sometimes, we don’t seek help at all. Itching to do something, we go ahead blindly, winging it, hoping the results are favorable. More often than not, however, they don’t go so well. Instead of being able to enjoy it the soonest, it takes longer because we create problems that we need to troubleshoot first. And sometimes, that’s the only time we actually seek help.

God wants us to enjoy our seasons. But if we don’t seek His will first, we get distracted and derailed. We end up doing things that we’re not supposed to do — maybe good things, but things that waste our time, energy, and resources. Worse, we end up doing the wrong things. If we go ahead of Him instead of wait on Him, we get delayed even more. We make unnecessary mistakes. We dig holes for ourselves that are difficult and take time to get out of. We get lost. We end up needing to go back to square one, when square one should have been to seek God first.

AND YET, when we do get ourselves in trouble, God is always more than willing and available to step in and save us. When we ask for His help at the very last minute, as an afterthought, He is still gracious to give us what we need. He gives us hope, countless chances to go back to Him. And along with those chances, He equips us with lessons, realizations, and hopefully, if we listen and truly learn, wisdom.

There are God-appointed people who can help us with some things, but there are just some things that ONLY the Father can do for us. :)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4

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